How can I get rid of a girl without being a jerk?

So I've been texting a girl and I've realized that that's all that's happening. She texts me nearly every day then bails on dates she sets up. I really dislike texting and I'm not very interested in her but I don't want to be an A-Hole either. I just want the texting to end since none of this is going anywhere. It's starting to feel like a bothersome obligation. How can I get her to let things die without being a douche or just disappearing? We haven't been talking long just a few weeks.

0|0
53

Most Helpful Girl

  • Just straight up tell her - "hey, I want to go out but I don't want to just keep texting all the time, so either let's go out or let's stop talking". It's not being rude, it's being honest about what you want. Tbh she is being rude if she keeps bailing on your dates...

    0|0
    0|0
    • That feels demanding. I don't wanna force her into an ultimatum like situation. It's not the serious to me. I'm just trying to end this texting cycle. I've actually lost a lot of interest in her so I'm just trying to leave respectfully.

    • Show All
    • Well you're gonna have to pick something... seems everything anyone suggests, you don't wanna do... suck it up man, sometimes dating is a bit messy.

    • If helping me think is troublesome for you you don't have to continue.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Just be honest. Tell her that you've enjoyed texting with her, that she's an interesting person, but that you want a real relationship, but that she clearly doesn't.
    Tell her that she has set up X number of dates and skipped on X% of them. Therefore you will not be texting her again.

    2|0
    0|0
    • I like the straight forward approach but throwing data at her feels kinda cold.

    • You Don't have to quote chapter and verse. Just make it clear why you're doing it. It's not her personality or anything, it's her choices. That way she's not left wondering why.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Just tell her you think she's a great girl this is isn't working out.
    After all, you say she's bailed on the dates. His interested could she be?

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's what I thought but she's the one setting up all the dates and the one initiating all the convos. She's cool and a nice girl so I'm trying to be careful with all of this

    • Show All
    • yeah so that's where the whole her bailing thing becomes a problem again.

    • I thought you said she was the int one to set a date and then bailed on her own invitation. If you ask her and then whether she bails or not, you'll get a clearer view of what you need to next.

  • Just be honest. If she keeps bbailing on the dates maybe she isn't that interested? Tell her this isn't going anywhere so lets end this now.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I would believe that but she's the one setting up all the dates and the one who's always contacting me first

    • Show All
    • Yes. I met her at a friends house party. We've hung out 3 times and been on one date.

    • Hmm maybe she is just busy. I still say go with what you are feeling. Im glad you said you actually have hung out with her because I was wondering if this was a catfish. Maybe just ask to hang out not a date per say.. Ask her what she wants.

  • Start texting less and not immediately (2-3 hours later for example). Increase the distance between replies as it goes, and will fade away...

    0|0
    0|0
    • I already do this.

    • Show All
    • If you can find the time for a date, you sure can find the time for a phone call. If she texts just reply can I call you later cause I am busy right now, and call her later, it's not a big deal I think.

    • I guess technically I do have the time. What I meant to say is I'd rather not use my time that way. Even when I'm doing business I try to keep things short over the phone because I know how much of a conversation can be loss over the phone. Like majority of a conversation is about nonverbal things. And I'd rather keep things face to face as much as possible. Especially if I'm talking about something potentially negative.

  • It could be that she wants a connection before doing so in person
    She could be shy.. what's the rush?

    0|0
    0|0
    • There's no rush. But I'm not shy and don't want to date a shy person. If it takes weeks to get comfortable talking to someone face to face then I'm not the person for her.

    • Cool then let it be known to her.

    • I'm pretty sure she's not a shy person. Thanks for your help though.

What Guys Said 2

  • It seems like she just wants attention, wants to be chased. Those people don't deserve much respect, but props to you for wanting to maintain your honor. TBH, I'm straightforward af I would literally just call her out on it, like "you keep talking for attention it appears but then keep bailing on dates, so I don't see the point in wasting my time talking with you"
    If she actually does have good intentions, she'll fight to defend herself then, but that is probably unlikely.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That feels a little abrasive. I'm not looking to make her feel bad I'm just tryna exit the situation.

    • Well, I think it's best practice to address the issue directly so you can exit the situation or address it accordingly, but that's my style so up to you ofc

  • Just lengthen the timing between your replies.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That just seems like disappearing but more stretched out. Not my style

Recommended myTakes

Loading...