This kinda bothers me but in the beginning when he was chasing me, he would tell me I'm beautiful and cute. That made me believed that I was beautiful and cute and it bolstered my self esteem so much. But a while ago, I found out that he had lied to me about finding me beautiful. He said that in the beginning, he didn't find me that pretty at all. That really made me mad because he shouldn't have let those words out and have me false confidence if he didn't mean it. I tried telling him how big of a deal it was to not fake compliment me but he acts like its no big deal. But it hurts me inside and I can never believe it when he tells me I'm beautiful anymore.
I told him not to do it again; giving me that false sense of confidence and he was like okay. But he would still keep calling me beautiful sometimes and that pissed me off again and I called him out on it. He told me that why can't he call me beautiful when he mean it? That really made me mad because he obviously didn't mean it again. If he didn't found me physically attractive in the beginning, why would he find me physically attractive now? I know he's lying. A person just doesn't go from a 3 to an 8 all of a sudden.
I told him that I would never believe him if he calls me beautiful again and that I would rather believe other guys who compliment me, and he said "ok I don't care, I just want to compliment you when I feel like it".
I want a guy who truly finds me beautiful, not just because of my personality or anything, but about my physical appearance. I want him to feel like the luckiest guy ever when he's with me. But my boyfriend apparently doesn't find me as his ideal. I keep thinking of all the girls who could potentially be his ideal and I find that our relationship may not be stable because he may dump me and go for another girl.
beauty is subjective of course. There are plenty of guys out there who has find me beautiful/gorgeous. I feel like I might be much happier with these guys.
Most Helpful Guy
Two things I'm going to point out.
1. He doesn't care much for being in a relationship and you're not different from any other friend. Or maybe he's just leading you on. I don't believe this is the case. You don't tell people you're leading on that you lied to them in the beginning but now you do find them attractive.
2. He really didn't find you attractive at first but his views changed and he ended up finding you attractive.
The problem here is that you seem to think it's impossible for someone's views to change which is really wrong. I've gone from 100 to 50 for some people and vice versa for some other based on other qualities they had. Beauty is not affected only by the physical. There are chemical, mental, and situational (even cultural) affects as well. Most of the time, the only picture you can completely see and judge on is the physical but eventually, emotions start to affect your views, intellect, even you start to change.
Sounds like you're more angry about the fact that he lied but you are also concluding that he does not think you're beautiful. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he does think you're beautiful, but if that is the real reason you are breaking up with him, shouldn't you confirm and base your inquiries on a more appropriate justification? If you break up with him because he lied, that's your cup of tea, everyone has, an should have, their standards. Of course, it won't be the first time a guy has lied to woo a girl either.0
Most Helpful Girl
Yes, in my opinion you should dump him or else your self esteem will be at an all time low in no time. Why would you want to be with a man that doesn't appreciate every inch of you? you should be with a man that feels lucky to have you. Looks mean a lot to me too, i've worked hard on how i look and if a guy just doesn't appreciate what i got i would never be with him.1