How to get him to back off?

OK so long story short I met this guy at the bar, was really drunk and gave him my number assuming he wouldn't call. Two weeks later he took me out to dinner and I told him I didn't want anything serious (he'd been texting me everyday until then) and he said that was fine and he understood. The next day I was at the bar with some friends and I told him that I was pretty much just having a girls night with some people who had graduated last year that I don't see very often now. He shows up at the bar as a "surprise" for me and while we were dancing he kept saying things like he wanted me all to himself, I was too good for him, and that he didn't want me to go home for break so I could be closer to him (not something I think you say to someone if it's not serious, especially if you barely know them). The second time he attempted to take me out it took him so long to figure out a place to go that by the time we would've gotten there it would've been closed (the first time he took me out I had to wait half an hour for him to figure something out the second time when we didn't actually go somewhere I was waiting for an hour). Since then he's still been texting me everyday and saying he can't wait for me to come back to school and basically it's just freaking me out that he's showing up places when I've specifically said I'm just hanging out with my girlfriends, texting me everyday, and saying things like he wants me all to himself and I don't know how to tell him to pretty much back off (and by back off I mean get lost) without sounding like a b*tch.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't tell him where you're going, don't respond to his texts, don't answer the phone when he calls - basically don't give him anything to hope for.

    Some guys have a real hard time picking up signals, it's usually because they are so wrapped up in what they want, they don't pay attention to what YOU want. Don't give him any more opportunities to wiggle his way into your life. One of these days he's going to ask what's going on and you can be honest about not being interested.

    Another thing - don't be afraid to be a bitch about it. He is completely disrespecting your boundaries so don't be worry if you hurt his feelings, he obviously doesn't care about yours.

    Good luck.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • "I've specifically said I'm just hanging out with my girlfriends"

    That's how you tell him to back off; he (deliberately) isn't getting the hint. Time for "get lost."


What Girls Said 1

  • He probably thinks you're playing hard to get, so tell him the following:

    1. Your biological clock is ticking & that you're tired of games.

    2. You want to have at least 6 or 7 children & you want to start working on that asap.

    3. You need to get married & you'd like to be a stay-at-home mom so you can stay home with all the kids.

    4. Start accusing him of the craziest sh*t you can think of, & tell him you've been following him & seen him at these places with other women.

    He'll leave you alone.


Recommended myTakes