Do you ever feel, in the wake of a break-up, like you've lost a big part of who you are?

We were together for a year and a half before outside circumstance forced an end to the relationship. One of the last things she said to me was that she loved me, and I know I still do.

It's been three weeks since we last spoke and I still can't sleep.

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  • In the beginning you are bound to feel this way, everyone does who broke up w/someone they truly cared about. There are just so many made memories when you were together and that person was a pretty big part of your life. After the break up it took me months to look at other guys w/out feeling sad and upset. I felt lost and numb, now quite a few months later I am making out my own life. Healing takes time.

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What Girls Said 14

  • My partner and I were just forced apart and so I feel your pain. We love each other but will be difficult for us to be together...

    Please do not let outside circumstances ruin your relationship. If you love each other you will survive this! What happened?

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  • It is going to take MUCH longer than three weeks, sorry, I know it sucks. But after being together for a year and a half it is going to take longer. Yeah, it takes a lot of getting used to be single again. Especially after dating that long they are so ingrained in so many aspects of your life that it is such a weird adjustment. You will adjust though and you will get through this, unfortunately, all that helps is time, and more than three weeks. So hang in there, it will get better, I promise.

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  • If u r unable to live widout her dat means u truly luv her. look quarrels r common in relationship & we usually say dat “we quarrel wid those whom we luv d most".. so u should try to patch up again wid her. she also may be waiting for u to say her again how much u luv her. so dont delay think about itsoon coz once u loose ur lpve u will never get it again.. okk best of luck.. just go to her & say it.. no oder thing in dis world is as beautiful as true luv

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  • Sometimes people just need time and space to realize how they feel and what they want. It's been a few weeks. If you still feel something. Shoot her a message. She may feel the same but be waiting for you to take the lead. Grab a cup of coffee. Catch up and see what happened.

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  • Yes and my heart is still mending. My ex smashed my heart with a hammer and there was a thundercloud over my head for weeks. I cried myself to sleep and asked myself what did I do wrong.

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  • It's only been three weeks so it is normal to still be feeling the way you are. You will see though that in time you will move on and feel like your old self again.

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    • The "old me" tried to gas himself in his garage. Don't see myself sinking there again, but I guess what I'm saying is I'm rudderless right now, weighing my options.

      I felt a sense of hope and purpose when I was with her that was absent from my life for years before. My family objected to us on religious grounds; I haven't believed as they do since I was twelve but had to wear a mask to stay in their good graces. With her I could just be me. She took comfort in the idea that things would get better between myself and them with her out of the picture, but it really hasn't.

      Going to her at this point, if she were even willing to consider it, would mean completely alienating them and leaving everything behind. Heart keeps pulling me toward it, head keeps spitting out reasons not to.

  • Yes I felt that way twice, sometimes with the first situation I still feel like I haven't been the same person. I think when that relationship was a big part of your life, it's like an identity. When u break up you shed that identity

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    • I was learning a new language for the benefit of her family. Also thought there was something romantic about the idea of having a tongue only we would be able to understand (it's not a common language). I was fully committed to this, to us, for nearly two years. I didn't want anything else. Honestly I still don't.

    • That's totally awesome that you were willing to share that experience with her, and take on her language. I know that it's hard to think about it right now... but think about it in terms of that life experience makes you much more of an interesting person! You have that and if things don't work out with her, the person things will work out with will really value that about you. That's a long time to be committed but that also shows you take things seriously. The person it works out with will be be lucky!

  • It is just so new. You will heal yourself. At the begining it hurts a lot but time is a great healer. You will feel better. Just go out and be with your friends. Do not think too much.

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  • Talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Maybe you can work it out. Nothing is "forced" it's a choice you made. If you show her how much it means to you to stick around that will change things. Trust me I felt countless times that we were "forced" to end our relationship and he made sure every time that he was here to stick around. On the long run it proved to me what kind of a man he truly is, and no matter what kind of mistakes he'd make on the way... I remember what he did to stay with me and it makes it a whole lot easier to forgive him

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  • I can understand the pain you are going through, about 2 years ago I had a thing with a man 8 years older then me. My parents found out and threatened both of us to NEVER get in contact again. Needless to say 3 months later we secretly start talking again. I loved him and he loved me. We would secretly talk every single night for about a year. He wanted me to face my parents about it once I turned 18. Then one night I realized that I can't be with this man I loved and not betray my family. I was only 16 and I was scaird of making a big mistake so I ended things with him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It left me broken, depressed, scaird of my future, and heartless. It's been about 11 months since I ended things and I still feel all of those things and cry every night. But I have hope that in the next few years i can maybe, possibly love again. So right now I'm surviving on hope. I suggest you do the same, it truly helps.

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  • Of course. It is VERY normal to feel like that at the start of a breakup.

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  • Nope I never have. But in the past, if I ended a relationship it was because I lost interest.

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  • Yeah I feel like he kill my apple.

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  • Oh yeah. I feel like this right now. He influenced me greatly (in a good way) and now he's gone and I sure do miss him. Feel like a part of me is lost.

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