He broke up with me because he couldn't give me the time I deserved?

Please help me out here, as I'm in so much pain. My boyfriend and I had been dating for a little under 5 months. I was so happy, and so was he. Anyway, during the latter half of this semester, he started getting really busy with school (he's an engineering major, and usually pulls all-nighters in the library). He wasn't able to hang out with me outside of class as much, although we did have one class together. Anyway, yesterday night, as he was walking me back to my car after our final exam, everything seemed fine. We were talking and holding hands like we always did. When we got to my car, he got really quiet and then it happened. He said that he was going to be super busy this summer and next semester with schoolwork (taking 21 credits) and grad school applications, and that he didn't think he could be my boyfriend anymore. He said he felt so bad for not being able to hang out with me as much as he wanted to, and that he just "couldn't forgive" himself for doing that to me. When I asked him if it was something I did, he said no, that I was doing everything right and that I was the perfect girlfriend. He just felt awful that he couldn't be the perfect boyfriend to me, and give me the time I deserved. All of this just broke my heart, because I never once felt that he didn't care about me. The entire time, his voice was shaking, and he was sort of gasping in between each sentence.

I'm just so upset right now. When I begged him to reconsider, he just said it wasn't fair to me. He said he really liked me, and he wished he didn't have to do this, but he thought it was for the best. He finished by saying we could go back to being friends, and that I could text him anytime. He then said that the timing was against us, and that if the feelings are still there in the future, we could try again. He just didn't know when that time would be. So what do y'all think? I know we weren't together for all that long, but I had a really good feeling about him. I can't explain it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's actually pretty brave of him to do, if someone can't give you the time that you deserve then its good that he did this, i can tell you're so hurt and I would be too, but eventually because you wouldn't have anything at all, there wouldn't really be a relationship, the occasional texts and all but barely seeing him, is that how you want to go through the summer and next couple semesters? I know I wouldn't, it just sucks because there wasn't a "BAD" reason why you broke up like either of you did anything wrong. I'm sorry, you'll get through this x


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What Guys Said 3

  • I don, t know and I am not saying, I am right either but you must consider this. If you want to dump a girl tell her you don, t deserve her and things like, he used. I hope I am wrong but it looks suspicious.

  • My guess is you (dating) was demanding too much of his time so he just put a boundary up that he can't deal with a girl that needs time and attention. Is that fiar or do you think he had lots of time for himself?

    If so, he's just saying I can't do this right now. he may be saying the feelings aren't strong but who knows in the future. enginnering school is tough, it was 15-17hr days for me at times, I'm glad he is focused on that.

    That you couldn't negotiate a lower level of engagement indicates he may not be that interested in you or ready to commit to someone.

    Why don't you study as hard as he is so you are equals and you don't have time to think about boys:)

    • I mean, yeah. He kept saying it was normal for me to want to hang out with him (I was his girlfriend, after all), but that he just couldn't forgive himself if he's unable to give me the time I deserved.

    • too bad you couldn't study together and just be together, but doesn't sound like he was open for negotiation. sorry.

    • Yeah, I don't get that... :(

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