Ex girlfriend of 4 years left me due to alcohol verbal abuse, need help, since then, I've been sober for 2 months what should I do if she ignores me?

Lonely8986
Hi, long story short I've dated my ex girlfriend for 4 years and for the first 3 years it was great but for the last year I don't know what happened to me that I started hanging out with the wrong guy friends and I ended up becoming an alcoholic. But to be clear, I never hurt her physically, cheated on her, or ever insulted her family because they were always there for me just like I was always there for her, to her friends and to my family we were the perfect couple we had so much together and I now I feel like dying because I let all that sweetness go because of alcohol and hanging out with the wrong crowd for the last year. Last year around this month we went clubbing and I got so wasted I hurt her, Last year in November I decided I need a break from her so I told her I needed a break although I wasn't drinking much I know I broke her heart when I told her that. During that one month of break time I did get wasted a few times on the weekends. On new years of this year I decided to celebrate with friends instead of her family and her and I got so wasted I texted her really mean stuff that I didn't wanna be with her anymore, etc.. She let it go and warned me that it's okay to drink one or two beers when we both go out to eat or her house but to never ever get like that because she can't stand getting hurt anymore. Well, 2 months ago I hung out with a few friends and I made a mistake, I got drunk and ended up texting her she was ugly, fat, low waged, and that her ethnic race was crap including her family, I told her I was dating a new girl (it's a lie) and that my fam hated her too (another lie). I broke her heart, I really did cross the line with those words. I said sorry the next day but she didn't answer. I just decided to talk to her again and she told me I waited 2 months to talk to her which was bad to her, she told me she's moved on and wants to be single and wants time to think thing. I begged her, I've cried and now she ignores my text. I really do love her
Ex girlfriend of 4 years left me due to alcohol verbal abuse, need help, since then, I've been sober for 2 months what should I do if she ignores me?
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