Should I break up with him or give it time?

I've been together with my boyfriend for 2 years now and while we've had our ups and downs, lately I've been having a lot of doubts about our relationship. At first it was just the small things that began to bother me like how he tended to be sarcastic and we didn't talk as much as we'd used to. But in a past few fights we had, he told me he viewed some of my gestures as pity rather than out of concern or love. The first time he told me that, I just thought it was his pride getting in the way and told him it was out of care and love. But this issue has come back up a couple more times and a few days ago he told me that he doesn't believe I really love him and that I'm staying with him for his sake. I got angry and called him an idiot for saying such things, but now I'm starting to wonder if this is really a relationship anymore. Even worse, I feel like I'very lost respect for myself by staying with him when he doesn't even think my feelings are real. I do love him and he loves me but I just feel so frustrated and mad about all of this and I'm not sure what to do. Should I break up with him or can I believe it'll work out?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with brandijo, a date night where the focus is not on what's been tearing you guys apart but rather what attracted you to each other in the first place would be a good place to start. I sitting down together and talking through this, asking him to explain what specifically about how you show love makes him thinks it is coming out of pity. Ask him to be as specific as possible, general answers won't get you far. Than bring up your how you feel and you truly are acting out of love. Hopefully this can give insight into what he has been saying while eradicating his how he views aspects of the relationship.

    I wish you the best of luck.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Neither of those options makes sense. Why don't you get a relationship counselor to talk to you and help you sort through this stuff. This happens in relationships, you two are not communicating well and you two are reacting. This is all stuff you need to learn about yourseves and relationships so you might as well try to work on it now.
    Trying harder isn't gonna work. Quitting isn't gonna help.
    Get someone with a PCC or PCC-S designation, pay the $60 to $120/hr and get some help and then see what you've got. You both may need individual counseling.


What Girls Said 1

  • In all relationships doubts happen. It just sounds like you guys need a date or something. Get to know each other again. Go do something the other loves or always wanted to do. Forget about why you guys fought.


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