Has anyone else been in an emotionally abusive relationship and had these after effects?

I was in a relationship and to make a long story short, she had BPD and was emotionally abusive. She destroyed my confidence and made me feel worthless. It has been a challenge getting that confidence back. I am with another woman now but I keep worrying I am not good enough and that she deserves better. I also feel stupid that love blinded me and allowed me to go along with the emotional abuse and manipulation for so long. Has anyone else experienced this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, it messes you up for a while. I just had to be honest with my new partner and tell her what I had go through with my daughter's father and it helps to talk about it, but it has to be with a person who you trust and you know they will support you no matter what.

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    • Luckily the woman I'm with now is very supportive and understanding. She knows about the whole ordeal. She was I'm an abusive relationship in the past and had self confidence problems after that.

    • Good for you, all you need is to be heard, and have your feelings validated.

Most Helpful Guy

  • That sucks, I sympathize... here's what worked for me.

    Get out of all relationships (I know you said your are in one now, but you dont sound like you are ready) think long and hard... piece it together I know you said you know you were just abused into thinking you wern't good enough... you need to reason through that until you believe it! Once you REALLY know what happened, you can prevent it from happeneing again. For a lot of guys they fall into that trap of the measure of thier worth is the ammount of approval they get from a woman, this is not the case.

    I really have more thoughts on this issue then will fit here in this window... if you want to know more please message me. I sympathize with your situation, I have been there, I will help if I can.

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What Girls Said 2

  • you can't blame this other woman for your lack of confidence, she sounds terrible, not defending her but only you can make you feel good enough and worthy of love. sounds like you need to fall back in love with yourself. focus on your positives and give yourself all the love you can, you can rebuild yourself but only you can do it.

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  • Definitely. Then I ended up with someone afterwords who treated me like a princess (which was nice after the shit before that) ... and then turned out to be a total player and that buggered up my confidence again. Just be thankful that you have found a girl that is good now instead of another bad-un because it can definitely be a cycle once you get involved with just one emotional abuser and lead you to tolerating more shit than you should. But you also need to work on your own self esteem and also... the anger (the anger is the thing that drives u mad afterwords isn't it?) ... you need to let that go and forgive yourself for not seeing what she was. Because otherwise she is still influencing your life... and she doesn't deserve a second more of your time tbh.

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