Is my husband cheating on me?

So I have been married for three years and my husband and I have always had a laid back 'solid' relationship.
After years of struggle to get pregnant we finally fell pregnant with our little miracle baby.
Throughout my pregnancy my husband was an utter bastard, refusing to buy anything for our child stressing me out, constantly talking about his ex wife!
Long story short our precious little girl is here now and my husband has so very little to do with her and hates to buy her anything won't leave me any money to buy essentials for our child, the house myself but yet he openly pays his ex wife maintenance for a child he never wanted doesn't love and doesn't see. He finishes work and doesn't communicate with us he just sits on his phone all night that goes everywhere with him and acts like a child so I have to look after him aswell. He seems to always be active on messenger but when I asked to see what he was doing surprise surprise there was no messages. He doesn't notice if I make an effort for him anymore, he doesn't say nice things.
I am seriously contemplating packing his bags and changing the locks. I try to speak to him but instead I get ignored or snapped at.
What is this mans issue now?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would recommend against the "pack his bags and change the locks" you could end up in some serious legal trouble down the road. It's not legal to lock someone out of their primary residence without a court order. He might actually end up with primary residence of the house in full if he uses the fact that you did that against you.
    If you want to continue to live in the house, you'll have to file for separation (or divorce depending on your state), get a court order, and buy him out of his partial ownership of the house.

    • Yes I never thought this far ahead thank you!

    • Divorce is typically a lot more complicated than people think it is when they're contemplating it. There will always be shared assets, but it becomes especially complicated when there are children involved.
      Assuming that you're generally competent, independent, drug-free, and emotionally stable, it's likely that you'll end up with joint custody with you as the custodial parent. Moving can be difficult for children, and this will help your claim to the house in the courts.
      Take good stock of your finances (taking into account that generally the bulk of your assets and debts will be split among you. Know how much the mortgage is, how much you've paid into the house thus far, and other general home ownership expenses (insurance, maintenance etc..) You want to be in good financial standing before your divorce as you will have quite a few costs to consider, the largest of which will be buying your spouse out of his share of the home.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Can I just ask. Why would you have a child with a man who doesn't care about his other child?

    • His history regarding his other child is complicated and he was extremely young.

    • Show All
    • I understand your point and I guess it was something that never really occured to me until you brought it up.
      I think you are right, he is 35 and can't take responsibility for any of his actions past or present. I assume he is with somebody else even if it is just over the phone ie pictures and sexting.

    • You sound like the mature 1. But we are all blinded by people we love god knows I have been in the past. But personally if it was me & I was with someone who you are describing as useless & immature i'd get rid. Even if I didn't want to I think I'd have to see how id be without the stress from him & consistrate on my child & maybe get a little social life back. If he is worth it he will come back if he doesn't he was never worth it. Life's too short for that kind of treatment & carry on. Best of luck hope you get answers you need x

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes. You better be extra hot and clingy.

    • I have no interest in staying with somebody who wants somebody else. I just had to check I wasn't going crazy and my moves are justified

    • ya I know.

  • I dont think so

    • Why else would he be acting this way?

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