So I broke up with my girlfriend because she was exchanging nude photos with three guys. I considered this some serious cheating and kicked her out of my apartment.

But APPARENTLY I'm crazy for thinking that this is cheating. She said that it was nothing but fun and something is wrong with me for not accepting this "normal" thing. Even my girl friends (female friends) say that it wasn't cheating and its a whatever, as long as nothing physical actually happens.

I feel like my decision was rational, but am I really acting crazy?

All my guy friends are 100% on my side but ALL my female friends are 100% on her side. So do girls just think this is okay?

Advice from the outside is very much appreciated


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Most Helpful Girl

  • sleezy. She 100% cheated. Course I'd say the same of a guy who looks at porn. So better make sure you're not pointing t he finger at her while you do the same thing by looking at porn. And just because you hang out with girls with screwed up morals 90% of the time doesn't mean that 90% of all girls agree with them. They're brain washing you. They figure if they tell you often enough and loud enough that sending nude pictures around isn't cheating, that you'll squash the feelings of hurt it has caused you, and somehow convince yourself against all reason that she isn't cheeting. Sad thing is, it would happen. You need to see a new crowd. Sounds like the only girls you're exposed to are the sleezy sort, or at least very tolerant of sleezy behavior. How will you meet a better girl if you only associate with the same sort of girl whose cheating on you now? You might as well keep her if you're just going to torture yourself by looking for a better girl in the same place you found this girl.

    So...if you can't win the "she's cheating" argument with these girls you can win this: She hurt you. Those are your feelings and you can't control feelings. When people get embarrassed no one beats them over the head and says "thats stupid. You shouldn't be embarrassed, so just stop it right now." Well that's not a whole hell of a lot of help. They won't suddenly gain confidence. Just so, you can't suddenly feel unbetrayed, or unhurt, or devalued. You felt it, you feel it. Secondly, since your Girlfriend is the sort to find such actions perfectly acceptable, and even "fun," you are right to have about 0-.01% confidence that a similar incident will not happen in the future. It is therefore unhealthy for you to knowingly stay in a hurtful relationship. If she claims she won't do it again, you can tell her "sorry, I just can't impose on you that way, I can't ask you to change for me." (Which is bullsh*t, you have the right to demand constancy from a woman who lives with you, but since she won't actually change, why be tricked into a battle you can't win?) So avoid that trap. You then proceed to say, “since I have these feelings which I cannot control, I can neither condemn you to a relationship where you are made to feel judged by me for just “having fun,” nor can I remain in a relationship were I will at times feel deeply betrayed. Therefore, we have no other choice but to find other partners who share our own values.” This isn’t a little thing that you can compromise on. And since this has to do with feelings of betrayal, there is not need to find a good argument for why you can’t compromise. You simply can’t. You don’t know how to feel only moderately betrayed. You should ask her if the next time she exchanges nude pics if she could please feel moderately guilty. How ridiculous. You’re right. She and the girls are wrong.

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    • Thanks, the porn thing is actually something I 100% agree with though. While in a relationship why do people need it. This is nice to hear and I really think you're right about the girls I hang out with. I think a new crowd would help. :-)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • In what alternate universe is this okay? Who cares what label you give it, it was super inappropriate and not the kind of thing I would want someone who was my partner doing. So, you can appease your female friends by telling them it wasn't cheating, but it was wrong and not the kind of thing you would ever want a girlfriend to do.

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  • No, she is in the wrong. Sending nude pic.s of yourself is a form of cheating. You are 100% right to kick her out!

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  • youre not crazy. she was on her way to cheat on you anyway

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What Guys Said 3

  • Is it -technically- cheating? No. But just because something isn't technically cheating doesn't make it right either.

    She desired the attention of more than one guy sexually, and although that's not cheating as I said, that is certainly a reason to break up with someone. We all have our fantasies, but she pushed any fantasy she had of being someone people lust over into reality, which is taking it too far for a committed relationship.

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  • It's not cheating but that doesn't matter, it's still more than enough reason to break up with her. You're not crazy at all, she's the one who needs her head testing.

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  • It was cheating, absolutely, no matter what.

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