Yeah this was brought up a couple times
I don't know because we were together for 2 and a half years so I don't think he is
Have you been living together for two and a half years?
Not together everyday
Then I would say it's perfectly reasonable to suspect that he was not interested in that kind of commitment right now. He felt pressured so he ran.
You think?Do you think that was a reasonable move?
I think it far more reasonable to communicate and talk about it. However, I have found most people aren't reasonable. They tend to deal in extremes because it helps them avoid harder conversations/decisions.
What if they talked about it many times and he said he wasn't ready?
If he's not ready and made it perfectly clear he's not ready, then it's quite possible he did not see a future with you. Or, as much as he enjoyed your company and dating you, you needed to tone down on the family talk because he had already made it clear where he stood. Constant nagging on the topic can easily drive someone away.
And that's calls for a break up?
If you're annoying enough and not getting the message that you are in two different positions in your lives right now, yes.
But if we're in two different positions in life why would he stay with me after he said it the first time?
Because he was hoping you'd get the hint that he's not interested in a family right now, but still enjoyed the aspects of being in a relationship. You will NEVER be able to pressure a guy into a family if he is not ready. It just doesn't work.
Right but that didn't mean he doesn't want to get married to me one day right?
As of right now it does. He just left you.
I never said he just did. It's been awhile
If it's been a while then you already have your answer.
What is it
That he's moved on and doesn't want to marry you, date you, or deal with constantly feeling pressured into having kids.
Well were kinda dating againDon't jump to conclusions I didn't tell the whole story
If you don't tell the whole story then you aren't going to get good answers. How do you expect someone to answer a question if they aren't shown the information needed to answer it correctly?
Well I really didn't want to go into that much detail in this question I just wanted to know if other guys would break up with a girl over this situation.I guess your comment just hit a nerve on me. I'm sorry
Understandable. In short to answer your question, yes. Many guys with commitment issues could see it as a good reason. Some guys think about it and come back around. Others, not so much.
And the reason why your comment hit a nerve is being we started to go on dates again and hangout and whatnot
Honestly, I'd avoid the subject with him for a while.
I am not bringing it up anymore, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love me enough to want to get married someday right?
that is correct.
He does you mean?
He could want to marry you in the future.
Well how would I know when he's ready or if he's serious?Is mentioning to me that he wants to get a house something?
Not something anyone else will know without knowing him and his personality.
What about the house thing?
What do you think?
I have no opinion at this point. Too hard to say without knowing the situation.
Well why else would he mention to me that he wants to get a house
If he says he wants to get a house, then yes. However, the way you had posed the house issue did not lay out that he had actually asked you if you wanted to get a house together.
Well hr didn't necessary ask if I wanted to get a house together he just mentioned to me that he wanted to get a house
What's the difference
Because one is a sign of commitment, the other is not...
Well it's not a sign of commitment but there has to be a reason why he told me that
Not really. Could have just been making conversation. Again, no way to know based off limited information.
Guys just tell people there future plans all Willey nilley?The situation is he is my ex but we still see each other.
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Yeah she obviously didn't love you. What if someone waits for you?
I think she did love me in her own way, but she just wanted to be married, mostly to have a father for her two unruly boys she had by 2 different men. I've been waiting a long time since my wife died. I can continue waiting, and wouldn't mind if someone waits for me. And if I never get married again, it's not a big deal. I'd be content just being a grandfather. :-)
Awww I'm sorry :(
But in the end you guys want the same thing
But it's when we want it that's different. If he isn't ready then he doesn't feel the same as you do him
How is someone supposed to know. How do you know when you're partner is ready?
He'll tell you
How about when they mention they want to buy a house
That still isn't marriage
So isn't it a step towards wanting a commitment? No?
I see it as he's wanting an investment
I'd say no house till after marriage
That's kinda being pushy isn't it? And actually buying a home before getting married is kinda smart.
The fact is you want marriage and he doesn't
Yeah, so that's why you would break up with someone?
Yes because that's a major difference
Then lemme ask you, why would he come on to me?
Sex or he finds you attractive and wants to know you better. His refusal to get married tells me he doesn't love you enough to marry you and he might not ever
Well he said he wanted to marry me he just wasn't ready and we know each other quite well already. You know people can refuse to get married if their not ready right?
My question is when will he be ready and how do you know he's sincere?
Why wouldn't you be sensere
Here's the thing. Marriage is the ultimate commitment. Just living together either of you can say "fuck it I'm out of here" and leave. When married that becomes a lot harder. So why doesn't he want to marry?
He just wasn't ready then the one thing he wanted before marriage was a house
You've got my opinion and he doesn't love you enough is why he won't marry you. Good luck
Just because he wasn't ready at the time and wanted to be fincially set?
You've got my opinion
So if someone is not ready for something they just don't love you enough?
That's my opinion
I think 24 when we broke up
It's one of those weird things, either you get married in high school or college, or as a gut, you wait until your older. For that, 24 is too young.
Still? For a man?Yeah I guess it is
But again, kind of weirdly, when guys do decide they're ready, they get married right away.
What do you mean?