Fiance said and did/doing some mean things... is it time to move on?

I support him (cigarettes, clothes, food, "trees" (sometimes), and other things) and have been since we first got together. We met on Plenty Of Fish. He has no job, smokes "trees", is lazy and has been caught on two dating sites since we've been ENGAGED (zoosk and chirplr, recently, too!) His excuse? Someone's consipracing against him!! He breaks his promises over and over again that he'll find a job but he won't stop smoking "trees" !! Even though I've told CRIED TEARS and begged him to please stop so we can live by ourselves. I've lost 77 pounds and am officially UNDER 300 pounds !! (I now weigh 298) And will NOT stop until I'm 150-170 pounds and am planning on to going to CNA school when I'm 250.

We live with his dad, sister, and her husband. Im the ONLY one that pays rent and brings food in the house. Not fair, right?

On Christmas 2015, his dad told him infront of me to buy me something for Christmas and gave him $50 and he never did... I had to get my own engagement ring and bought our wedding rings.

Then one night, I was crying when his female best friend happens to stop by, he said "shes here" (meaning for me to stop crying) then he pulled a chair for her to SIT by HIM !!

He knows what kind of messed up childhood I had and he never cried and he cried for HERS. Yes, HERS. And I'm HIS FIANCE!!!

I'm going to another state in 5 days and thinking about never returning. Should I do it?

I'm 23, he's 30.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Clearly you should have left a long time ago. He is no good and he's not going to change. I know what you think in the back of your mind "maybe if we are married he'll get his act straight" Hun no he won't. All that's going to happen is he will not only tax you as a person, not only clearly cheat on you, not only tax your money to its edge, but with a marriage he'll be a legal concern to someone who you get in to real issues with. Why do that to yourself clearly you make enough money to support yourself and a whole household you don't need him for anything. Go pack your things and leave him not tomorrow now dear; literally your just waisting your time effort and money on him. For what when you get nothing in return your 23 you should be living your life not taking care of a way over grown 30 year old child. Your not his mother he has family and they aren't your problem either. If you don't leave now when you so clearly know that you're in this horrible situation and you know you can get out of it when ever you want then you can't expect people to pity you when you do it to yourself. Leave get your shit and get out go somewhere that you can live well or to people that you know will put you up for a while so you an find a place of your own. You don't have to leave the state to do that you just need to leave him and that house. You get paid enough stay at your job and walk out and leave, block his phone number and all of his social media things if your paying his bills stop doing that and just worry about you for a change. First thing to do before any of that though is leave. I wish you luck and that you listen to my words because of not your going to have ruined any chance of a life for yourself. Good luck dear and my god bless you in what ever you may choose.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to dump his ass IMMEDIATELY. Even if you return to that location, cut him out. He sounds like a douche, and it won't lead you anywhere good. He cheated on you, he smokes instead of uses his money like a responsible ADULT, and you're practically taking care of his entire family. L. E. A. V. E.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • sorry for what happened.
    I agree with you to move on, but not to leave the state for some crazy family.
    I admit that I hate some people on the earth, but It doesn't mean that I should leave the earth and move to mars.
    make the leaving for a purpose.. like meeting family or study etc. move and get new room far away or temporary with a close friend... cuz financially you need to be patience.

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  • i think deep down you know what you need to do. he is holding you back and doesn't respect you at all.

    Also, i can't get over the fact you had to buy your own ring. how did that play out? you went and bought it, gave it to him then he gave it back to you? it sounds ridiculous.

    seriously leave him.

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  • He's a 30 year old man with no job who doesn't care about you. Why are you with him in the first place?

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  • That dude is a grade-A loser. Do you like losers?

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  • I think you should...

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  • Damn you should break up that sounds bad

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  • You do need to break up with him permanently. He has been nothing but bad news for you the whole time. It is amazing that you are still with him, let alone engaged. Break it off, return the rings, and get away from him!

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  • Yes. Leave and never return. You are a money supply for a lazy, trash family.

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What Girls Said 17

  • Yes. Leave this sorry excuse for a human being who doesn't appreciate you. You support his entire family.. And he can't even be bothered to get a job and help out a little? Also take your rings back.

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    • Well yes leave, but leave the state only if you actually have plans for moving on outside of it.

  • I would do it, but you know if you've tried and tried and he still doesn't get it, and you're still supporting his ass with his broken promises, do yourself a favour and get the hell out.

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  • u rnt his servant!!! if he can't respect u then u should respect urself... do urself a favour move on... god willingly ull find someone much better... someone who will respect u... that family is using u... please get out of there n save urself

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  • He's a loser. I'm guessing you're with him because you feel like you don't deserve someone better than this? You really do! You can do 100000x better than this. Don't waste any more of your precious time.

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  • He's a bum and a loser. Never be with a guy you have to support. Also it's crazy that he isn't acting more grateful to have you. if he is being taken care of by you, the least he could do is be a romantic gentleman.

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  • He has no job, smokes "trees", is lazy and has been caught on two dating sites since we've been ENGAGED (zoosk and chirplr, recently, too!)

    wow sounds like a keeper
    not
    dump his ass
    why are you even with him dafuq

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  • Oh my god. Leave and don't ever go back to him. He's 30? No job? Lazy? How can you even be attracted to this guy? Thank god you haven't married him! Dodge this bullet!

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  • Leave him, you will enter a life of loneliness if you stay with him. Your life is worth so much more.

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  • Oh my gosh what a loser. Do you have zero self respect? Why are you with him?

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  • Why would you want to marry a guy like that? He sounda awful! Yes, leave and never return!

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  • Why are you still with this loser? You need to set your standards higher.

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  • If you don't dump him your desperate. Just say'n, he obviously doesn't love you.

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  • girl, he sounds like a loser. sorry to say that but its true.

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  • Yeah, it was time to move on a few years ago.

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  • Dump his ass. You deserve way better.

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  • LEAVE HIM ASAP NO DOUBTING IT FUCJ HIM. I've been in this situation and trust me it's never going to work and he will never change. He will tell you he has and make you believe it (I went back several times) but it's not true and at one point you just get fed up of the lies and you realise you've wasted far too many years and they have destroyed you're trust and love abilities

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  • Dump him.

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