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It's gotten to the point where it's impulsive. You hear more about male cheaters.
I'm guessing you meant "no"... :P
@AleDeEurope Yeah I wasn't thinking lmao
Much like what I was trying to say. Both have a responsibility to the other. You can't just treat you spouse like a dancing monkey!
Ridiculous. If that's a problem in your relationship, talk to your partner. If you're not on the same page and you can't sort things out, you can end the relationship. Cheating is always a choice.
@YayBatman Oh, it's always a choice. Though sometimes it might be a choice you literally shoved the person at. And really... we're in a day and age where marriage vows literally mean nothing. It's a right, to divorce someone for being boring, if you want. So if you have the legal right to divorce a woman because she was boring, or didn't want to do anal, then what is the matter with cheating? Marriage vows already mean nothing.
I don't see it that way... I think that's a very negative view. "Nobody gives a shit, so why should I?" Sure, some people are quick to throw in the towel, but not everyone. There are loyal people out there (I'm one of them, hehe)
@YayBatman In my experience, most women are very loyal... until they lose attraction for you. If you make a mistake and cause them to lose attraction, all bets are off.
What kind of mistake?
@YayBatman saying or doing anything that causes her to lose attraction. If a woman is well attracted to you, she will be loyal and understanding and even console/justify you when you make mistakes. If you do something to make her lose attraction--she will instantly be as cold as if she never met you.
:S Blanket statement. And her behaviour would force you to cheat?
@YayBatman What is a blanket statement?
A general statement. We're all individuals, but you're saying that all women behave a certain way.
@YayBatman Oh, you mean about loyalty and attractiveness? Yeah. If a woman is attracted to you, she'll be loyal and forgiving, at least to a degree. If a woman loses attraction for you, she becomes as cold as if she never met you.
It may be not true in many instances. Cheating is often the final result of long standing relationship issues. The partners may have spent years arguing, criticizing, lying and attacking each other physically, emotionally to the point where cheating is not actually the trigger or the biggest threat to the relationship.Many women who cheat often do so because they feel no longer loved. Whether it's because the relationship has gone sour or stagnant, that is the fault of both people. Cheating just one step further towards a relationship breakdown, but both people likely had many prior opportunities to avoid the cheating, by being more attentive in the relationship.
@meowcow So you're saying they should NOT talk to their partner and try to remedy the situation or simply break up - you're saying it's natural to go behind their love's back and cheat and they aren't accountable for it?And you're 36?Wow...
When did I say they should not talk to their partner to fix the situation?You clearly did not understand my response.I said that it was because both parties did not try to fix the relationship problems, which is the reason for the cheating. Cheating is the the FINAL action leading to the relationship's downfall. The reasons for cheating happen well in advance of the cheating itself. The lack of communication and resolution of the underlying problem is the reason for cheating. And the lack of willingness to communicate and resolve matters is the fault of BOTH parties.Somehow, you read it and got the exact opposite meaning. Learn to read. You're 27... wow.
Can you provide a scenario where it is not true?
@bcromartie a workaholic husband for 1 example. He's always putting his work before every thing else-including his wife. noe, from this example, can you say that th husband would be blameless where is wife to cheat?
@bcromartie During a divorce, before there's a court verdict, for instance.
I am not on the fence with that one. First, it's a technicality, and cheating is not really a legal thing plus if there's a divorce it's not grounds for divorce or additional settlement or anything like that as far the law is concerned. That would return it back to the participants in the divorce and they would have to agree (or disagree) that such a rule would exist. That's a stretch.As for the partner that is too busy that is also a stretch. If you are unhappy because someone is working hard so long as it isn't them working against you (that is, they are working for the benefit of everyone), you don't really have an "excuse". It is if they are being selfish that you should just leave since cheating isn't going to do anything except ensure that you maintain the cash inflows plus your external affairs.I need something with substance that isn't questionable. Something that can't be unraveled at a sight. I'm pretty sure "always" applies here.
@bcromartie how is it a stretch if you make time for your spouse?
@Sabretooth Particularly because the onus doesn't fall on the other person for your behavior. If you choose to have sex outside the relationship, on purpose, it is a choice. It doesn't matter what sparked that choice. That's like saying you committed premeditated murder because someone called you a bad name. And yes, it is premeditated, because you have to choose whether or not you wish to put yourself in that position to begin with. It isn't a "random attack of horny due to workaholic hubby!"
@bcromartie A merriage does take 2 people. I think it's safe to say both are to blame in this scenario.
@Sabretooth That's unfair. So what happens when a person cheats and states that they have a workaholic when their "workaholic" only worked an average of 50 hrs a week? In short, "What stops a person from making something up and spreading the blame for their decisions?"
@bcromartie never argued it was a choice, however. But in this instance, I think the spark is relevant. You can't just treat your spouse like a dancing monkey.
@Sabretooth So now you're attaching a lot of weight to this concept but let's say our workaholic is now working 60 hrs a week so that they can buy a home with their two children but the lass gets bored even though again the work is being done for the good of the family. Now what?You have to frame your story JUST RIGHT for it to work. It's just not reasonable.
@bcromartie it is also unreasonable to think that one person alone can make a merriage work.
@Sabretooth Which is why you break the marriage rather than cheat on your spouse. You have no grounds for cheating if you want to leave the marriage. You need to explain why cheating within the marriage is the "right alternative".
@bcromartie I would think that they would already have a house by the time the first child was born. But we're getting off topic here. I never said cheating is justified, I merely stated that the other spouse might not be blameless
@Sabretooth Which you never actually substantiated.Oh well. Bedtime!Night.