Am I doing the right thing? Should I walk away?

I was in a relationship with a guy for almost 3 years. he did hit me on one occasion in which I had slapped him and he slapped me back. Because I believe in gender equality and that no one should lay there hands on anyone I took him back. Some arguments escalated to him cursing words bitch and fuck you. At one point he called me a whore repeatedly for about a month and stopped. He never slapped or hit me in anyway again. However after taking him back after the physical altercation he repeatedly left me. 3 months before our 3rd year anniversary he kissed another girl and left the relationship. Over the break up he's said he's sorry but had also got mad and told me to kill myself
I've always known about his anger issues and I understood staying with him would bring hurt w. e he had episodes.
He went to therapy for a few months but when his parents stopped supporting it. Over the break up he's gone back to smoking drinking and picked up doing coke he said we could try again after high school graduaction.
Today was prom and he invited me last minute to his hotel party. Neither of us attended the actual prom.
i realize how much we are a drug to each other it takes more strength to stay away from him than to forgive him.
But I don't forgive him for cheating and I feel like id end up getting hurt repeatedly.
Don't get me wrong our 1st year together and the last few months before he cheated were bliss. And he seemed like he would be the one if it weren't for the cheating and what followed after.
I believe he has major depressive disorder but he did not stay long enough in therapy to find out. Am I making the right choice by telling him that I do not see us getting back together in a healthy relationship? Or am I making the wrong choice because no one is perfect and I out up with it this long and I'd be throwing away 3 years if even though (none perfect years) years that still made me happy.
I struggle with staying away from him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're in a very complicated relationship but one thing caught my eye. You should not hit a man. You want to protect yourself against violence so you should never instigate it.

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    • I know, and that's why I still staid with him. I shouldn't have laid my hand on h I mean 1st. Or at all. No one should hit anyone except to protect and I wasn't protecting myself. But now he keeps claiming he wants to be together and that he won't leave again but there really instead a reason for me to believe that or that he will change. but he's still like a drug to me and I'm still love him and think of the good times but I'd feel like an idiot if he hurts me again

    • Some people (I dont mean only women) act mores stronly on their emotional impulses rather than clear and sensible logic. That is what you are doing and you may continue to do so regardless of any advice that you get telling you to stay away from him. (What do they know, right?) So you may be into a relationship that is going to end badly for you, and you seem to sense that already.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • "I believe in gender equality so we both slapped each other"? You two need therapy and to stay away from each because your behaviour is abusive both psychically and emotionally. Step way, way back from each other and learn to recognize how your behaviour needs to change. Being around each other won't help at all.

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    • No we didn't slap each other for that reason I was bullied as a child and I warned him to step away from me because he was cornering and in my face. I'd been able to hold myself back times before but that day I lost it and he slapped me back. I want left with a bruise or anything it was the act that made me feel betrayed I always told him if I ever felt threatened I wouldn't his tate to lash out, he however having come from parents where his mother has gotten hit always promised he would just let it happen and not hit back.
      I went to therapy for over a year while we were still together. I went for the reasons I needed too I had more problems than just him

  • I think you should walk away.
    He is no good to you. You can find someone better.
    He cheated.
    Once a cheater always a cheater.

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  • once a cheater, always a cheater. He is disrespectfull to you, leaving is the right thing to do.

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