When you feel like your life is in turmoil?

I fell in love with an ex fling. We knew each other for about three years but only really saw each other for 2 months. We had always liked each other but she always put things in between us as to why she cannot date such as religion and that she had some health concerns. The brief 2 months we saw each other I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend and she said she did not want to put a label on things. She ended things after we see me for about 2 months but I remained supportive as she had some health concerns. A few months after she ended things we were out one night and she betrayed me by going through my phone. She got upset that I was talking to other females. I admit that I was talking to other females while in the hope that she would give us another chance. However if she had three years to finally say yes to me and to commit. Therefore I don't think it's fair the way she cast of me out when she learned that I was talking to other females because what is a man to do when you take 3 years to finally say yes to somebody. We had an amazing friendship which was the reason why my feelings for her grew very strong. I truly believe I do love her. However now she actually has a boyfriend who she has actually committed to. In light of that I decided to going no contact with her. I told her we cannot talk since it would not be fair to her new boyfriend that it would only delay my recovery. She sent me a paragraph which I did not respond to I just ended up blocking her. Now it has been almost 2 months and she is still constantly on my mind constantly wondering if she will ever reach out and if there is a possibility we could ever be together again. I've tried moving on with other women however none of them gives me the feeling and the majority of them judge me due to my height. I don't believe I will ever be happy again. What should I do and what are the chances that in the future she may Reach Out?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Great question. The answer may surprise you but it really is simple. You have to be willing to look beyond how you're feeling right now. As you're feeling terrible, lo loss right?

    Remember when you met her? Remember how you felt about yourself at the time, especially when your relationship with her was at its best?

    Chances are you were feeling at ease, relaxed and happy. You must practice returning to this feeling. This is how you will find your next, even better mate, or maybe she will come back to you.

    But feeling like you do now, like people are judging you etc, nobody that you really want, will want to be with you. We all want to be with somebody that is confident self assured, and happy. So work on being happy :-)

    Walk your dog, go on a trip with some friends, go for a walk in the woods... anything to make you feel better!

    Stop thinking about her, it will only make you feel worse right now.

    Hope this helps.

    • I feel like she went through my phone looking for evidence since she would never commit to me for 3 years. I believe she just wanted an excuse to finally just telling you without her being a bad person.

    • As long as you're upset, your job is to become better emotionally. What you want, what you really want, will start coming to you when you can maintain a more positive attitude.

      Blaming her is better than feeling powerless so you're on track. Be angry with her for a while, then move on to frustration, resignation etc, and then to hopefulness and then things will start to become better.

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What Girls Said 1

  • First off... please don't say the word "female" unless you're talking about the anatomy of a girl/woman. It makes me cringe when I see that. If you want to talk to her, just do it. Who cares if she has a boyfriend. I was in a happy relationship for 1 1/2 years and I still thought about my ex. I wished he would just text me so we could talk. You have nothing to lose. If she ignores you, then you know it's time to move on.

    • I treated her like a queen. Rent a car to go visit her in her City an hour away from mine, how to pay for a medication due to a health issue. Yet for three years she couldn't ever commit and say yes. The two months we actually were seeing each other she did not want to put a label on things as I had asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She never give me a real chance and she paints a picture of me being unfaithful dishonest man.

    • My advice is to let her go. She has moved on and so should you. It sucks that's she is slandering your name but you know the truth. Contacting her more is going to make her feel even more resentment towards you. Just let it go. All the nice things you did for her mean nothing to her. Waste your time on someone who's actually worthy and appreciative!

    • Which is what I did I told her for the sake of both of us recovering and moving out and we should not talk anymore and that it was not fair to her new boyfriend. She sent me a paragraph as if she actually cared about having me in her life. I did not respond I just blocked her.

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