Going cold on me?

This girl I knew for a few months from school and hung out with a few times and texted a bunch just has gone cold on me and has not texted me in a few months. I don't know why she'd just leave things like that.

I don't want to text her because at the time we stopped contact, it seemed that she was busy with her other friends.

Now that everything's faded, I don't think I built up enough of a base to even be considered a "friend" to her, so I think she'll just let whatever relationship we had, go. I'm baffled because we used to text so much and make fun of each other and make each other laugh.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't think of it as "I've lost my chance with her now." Reframe that in your mind. Think of it as "Well, she's lost her chance with me, and now I'm free to meet as many new girls as I want and find one who appreciates me for who I am." Best of luck.

    • Thanks. That's useful. But what bothers me is that she doesn't know it. She doesn't know she lost her chance with me so she doesn't care. That bothers me.

    • Here's the thing: it doesn't *matter* whether she realizes it or not. True confidence is not *caring* what people are thinking about you, and not *needing* them to realize they're missing out on a good thing. That's because you'd simply be too busy being an independent guy, who's getting out there, having fun, going after your goals and interests, trying new things, and exploring and expanding your options by meeting as many new girls as you can.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well it goes both ways. You should try to start up the relationship again slowly. Start talking to her again and a few texts. Then let it go from there. Try to become her friend first and then see if she wants a relationship with you :)


What Guys Said 3

  • yeah unfortuently girls do this , I've had it happen to me a few times in recent years , but sometimes end up running into the girl somewhere but by then it really doesn't matter and things so unlikely I have no chance by then , so I've become a rather unimportant guy in her life but then

    but its good to always be trying to meet as many new girls as possible that way you always have new leads and don't end up with nothing at all for a long period

    • I guess the important thing to ask you is this: by the time you ran into her again, you said you were unimportant to her by then, but the question is.....was she unimportant to you by then, also?

    • Awesome: "was she unimportant to you by then, also?" Now we're talking.

    • Well I usually still had some level of interest in her by then , at least most of the time that was the case , so she wasn't unimportant to me if that's what you mean . but time had pasted so things had changed

  • Girls are weird dude. I remember a girl did the exact same thing to me, but I just let it go and found someone who is actually interested in me enough to build a relationship with. Now we've been together for 15 months and we've had a lot of fun together.

    • Thanks. I hope I find someone like that. the problem is that when they go cold, I begin to overvalue them because, you know, it's an ego thing.....I have to wonder why she doesn't want to keep in touch anymore.

    • Chances are bro, she found another dude, and was too chicken sh*t to let you know the truth.

    • I know that's a possibility, but it seems like she found him pretty quickly then. I wish she would've just told me where things stood instead of just letting it fade.

  • You should have asked her the first week she stopped. To find out. Now it's a bit too late. Best to let it go.

    • Well, asking her after the first week would have seemed too premature, because, after all, there could be several reasons someone doesn't contact you after a week. But yeah, it's probably too late now, but I would've thought she'd contact me by now. Oh well.

    • Show All
    • Is it ever too late, though?

    • We'll, it depends. I'm trying to avoid you wasting your time. Remember that for each week you think about her, is a week you could be spending finding someone else.

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