i feel really pathetic but I'm really hurt by this guy.. Even though we aren't in a relationship (for some reason I feel my feelings are invalid then?)
He isn't looking to settle or give so much time to a female right now. I constantly set myself up only to get crushed 70% of the time bc he blows me off or cancels last minute. Not to mention the knowledge I have that because we aren't exclusive he could be taking other women out as well. I would be down for him 100% but it just isn't realistic bc I want more than what he can give me, and we have somewhat discussed this... I know he is getting over pain from a previous relationship in which he was cheated on, but I can't be brought down with him during his period of uncertainty. It just sucks that we've been seeing each other for 5/6 weeks now, and now I have to let go.. Let go of the "what ifs" what could have been and whatever.
Any ways to make this easier? What if he contacts me, how do I let go, how do I say no? We are in a good place, nothing happened but my needs not being met. I haven't told him how strongly I feel. I've been playing it beyond cool with him, and when he cancels I act unphased, but really this last time I spent the night crying. I open my time for him, do him favors, would love to see him anytime... I have 36 unread messages in my text messages right now from guys wanting to take me out... And here I am caught up in the littlest hope for a guy who may not be there. And each time I feel like we are getting closer, he does something small and I become really affected by it. I have never been so excited about a guy before, craving to know him and grow with him.. And now I have to say goodbye, and it just really sucks. But I know if I don't cut him off then I will continuously be brought down bc I keep hoping he will grow to want to be with me since we haven't gotten to know each other that much yet. We are still very much in the beginning, but I don't know I'm afraid of being hurt.
Most Helpful Girl
You've got the right idea by trying to let go. If you want different things than its best to go separate ways. The worst thing you can do is think that by sticking it out he will maybe change his mind, because he won't. We gotta take what men say they want and don't want, at face value and then take the time to figure out what we want. You're right, you will continue hurting if you keep him around. I am dealing with a similar situation and its heart breaking, but you do feel happier and healthier emotionally eventually!
I cut ties for a while and went no contact because I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to ignore and I would get sucked back in. We ladies over analyze/read into a lot that a guy says or does, which puts us in a state of "crazy" trying to figure them out.
It'll take time... And you'll eventually be thankful you looked after YOU instead of accepting "crumbs" from a guy that doesn't know what he wants.1