Did I mess up a second chance to have a girl?

Any opinions are welcomed.

Basically I dated a girl for 20 months, I called a break to try and save the relationship, then she broke up with me. We kept our distance and such, but then we realized we still pretty much loved each other, so we got back together. Well this only last 2.5 months then we broke up again. Due to similar reasons as the first time, which were lack of time to see each other, stress in both our lives, also that we couldn't give each other the attention we each deserved. Also that some of the emotion she had for me has faded. She still see's me as a very good friend, and still cares for me a lot. Also that she told me not out of getting my hopes up for the future and to wait for her, but she did see me as a possible suitor for the future and that we had certain key futures for a serious relationship similarities(All not trying to get my hopes up). I got frustrated one day with her, and well I told her how she treated me and I felt I was not treated well and such. Its been a couple of weeks with out talking to her, and well I still do deep down inside care about her, and I do miss her. I just feel like I messed up my 2nd chance with her.

What do you think?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Can I just say its sounds like a very dis-jointed relationship. I think if a relationship is too difficult and doesn't plod along naturally then you are forcing something that isn't mean to be. she has said her feelings have faded - when a girl says that, she means it. when she told you not to get your hopes up for the future, she is keeping you on a string - she wants to keep you lingering in the background. you were wrong initially to dump HER, after 20 months - did you actually want to dumpo her? or did you feel like you had to? either way, I am sure she would of been upset and confused. you then got back together, maybe she was unhappy - cos you would be after being dumped - its like being put down then picked up again, would of been emotionally draining for her! when you have ups and downs - your feelings go up and down with it too! I think its good that you have had a couple of weeks without talking - space is what you BOTH need to evaluate everything and where you want to take it. My advice is this, she said her feelings have faded and she wants to be good friends, take her word for it - because when women say this, they mean it. don't contact her. if someone wants you, eventually they will call. this is where you decide whether you want to a) wait around for it to happen or b) get on with your life as if she is gone from it. and if she comes back, then cross that bridge when you come to it. but for now, be strong, I know you miss her, but that's perfectly natural and I am going through that at the moment - its very very tough. but to me, you two just sound...'wrong' like it just isn't meant to be.

    • I didn't dump her, I needed a break in my life from everything, honestly I had lost everything that I cared about, and I became so f***ing depressed that I didn't know what to do, so I was confused ok? I messed up that part and would do anything to make it up to her. She actually made it official, and used similar lines to what I have told you for the second time. Honestly everything was smooth and natural, until certian things happened and well ... we fought.

What Guys Said 1

  • If what you said to her was true, then you didn't mess up. This from the sounds of it was a bad relationship.

    • Honestly I did leave out a lot of the good stuff between us, the bonding and the great stuff which happened between us. I did tell her the truth, I told her how I felt, she said she was sorry, I told her how damaged my trust in her was ... blah blah. She did say her sorry, but it was over the phone and stuff. But now I have gone with NC ... its just I feel like I will be a wet blanket in her life if I still like her or have feelings for her.

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