My Ex Treated Me Like Crap So Why Do I Miss Him?

This is so frustrating. He only wanted sex from me, never took me anywhere... all we did was hang out at his house. We were off and on for a year before he stopped talking to me, yet I miss him, and for fucks sake, I can't figure out why. He wasn't very open emotionally, either. I know he's not a good match for me so why the hell do I want to talk to him so bad? I really want to know why I want someone who I know is bad for me. I'm 25 so I know enough about relationships to know that going back would be one huge mistake so what is it that makes me want him back?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is that void in your life that he filled at that time. Now it's gone. Thats what your missing. Not him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't say you miss him. I would say u miss the idea of being in a relationship. You need to start thinking of the benefits of being single and enjoy your youth on your own while you can. Plan a trip with your friends, work on a project that is for you, pick up a new hobby.. anything that will make you appreciate who you are more.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Possibility 1: you have no better guys or any guys after you so he's the best by comparison/default

    Possibility 2: Stockholm syndrome

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  • He was probably attractive and good in bed.

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  • Desperation of course. No other option in sight.

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  • Because you don't think you deserve any better. Don't be Thelma Lou Thug Rescuer. FInd a decent guy you can build a life with. Not some self absorbed schmuck like this guy appears to be.

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  • Because being alone sucks ass. When we're lonely we start to long for previous relationships, even if they kinda sucked. You would be surprised how many people are in a relationship just so they aren't alone.

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    • I think that's me then. I hate being alone and I hate being single. I'm single all the time. This was the first relationship I had that was longer than 3 months and I've only had a total of 4 boyfriends my entire life.

What Girls Said 8

  • You got attached and it's ok, it happens.

    Good or bad, you was with for a period of time, and you get used to being with this person, even when it was on and off - you subconsciously got used it and when you broke up for real the subconscious part of your brain was probably waiting to get back.

    Anyway, the point is don't be too hard on yourself.

    Maybe there was qualities about him that you really liked and attracted you to him - and these qualities make up "your type" of guy, which there probably will more of :)

    Also, do all the things you probably couldn't do before - go out to clubs, meet new guys, flirt - it doesn't have to be anything serious or more than just harmless flirting if you don't want it to.

    And just think to yourself: why even waste your thoughts on a guy who never respected or even care much for you, when you can find your perfect guy who will love you and care for you.

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  • When I got out of a bad relationship, I knew it was the right decision. But like you, I missed him and wanted him back. But honestly, after searching deep, it was him that I wanted. I just wanted someone so I wouldn't be alone. I was willing to waste my time in a dead end, unhealthy relationship. All because I didn't want to be alone. I don't know if that's the same for you. But whatver your reasons are, you'll be ok. I know it's hard right now and it hurts. But it'll be ok.

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  • I know how you feel.

    You were attached to him, if you weren't you wouldn't have put up with so much. It's natural to miss him.

    But you need to remember that your relationship was very unhealthy and that letting him back in your life would be disastrous. Cut off all contact with him and focus on moving on. You won't feel this way forever.

    Wishing you the best of luck.

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    • Thanks... I actually haven't spoken to him since the last time I saw him over a month ago. I guess it's starting to just now hit me.

  • I'm going to tell you what my friend told me after I went through a similar situation: you don't miss him, you miss the idea of him. You miss what you wanted to have with him but never did. You want a relationship, not a relationship with him. Don't let him take away your life. You own yourself- get out there and try to improve who you are. Not change, improve. Put your energy elsewhere and focus on you.

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  • sounds like the sex was good?
    or just to prove to yourself that there was more to it than sex.

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    • Eh, I don't really care about sex

  • You have no self worth

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    • That's a bit extreme. If I didn't have self worth, I would've spoken to him a long time ago lol.

    • You waste so much time thinking about him that you are willing to lie to yourself about it

    • Actually, I've only felt this way for the past couple days. Pretty sure 2 days in a month isn't a lot of time lol

  • I see myself there.
    The only thing I had to do was find another object of interest. Its not easy but another guy... a nicer one will really really make it good for you.

    Another thing. We usually crave the thing we can't get. Its probably even that. You wanted him in a relationship and he just wanted to fuck around.

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  • Girllll. Fuck him! Don't think u don't deserve better

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