I'm hurting after I broke up with my boyfriend. Is he hurting too?

My ex and I broke up after 11 days of being together. We knew each other last semester and were great friends. He used to come down every night and hang out. There was some drama going on between us after we got back from the holidays and I preferred to ignore the situations. I still liked him even though I should've been really upset with him (the drama). Then, one night when I was drunk, I sent him a really rude text message and threw away his Christmas present. I felt awful afterwards and just wanted our friendship back. I could care less if he liked me. Then, he texted me the next day and he said "i don't care about what you said because you were drunk.. we are still friends and still like you." I was so happy. I could've cared less if he didn't like me, I just valued our friendship. Then, afterward, everything was going so fast. There were 7 opportunities where he could've had sex with me, but he waited and did not take advantage of me. He told me, "I will wait for you." It seemed we dated far longer than what was counted. We got together the week of the Mardi Gras holidays. Then, a week after some more drama happened, he told me he was leaving to go back home, so his brother could go to school out of state. I felt he was becoming distant, but I didn't want to think of the worst. So, the day after he told me he was leaving, I broke up with him. I didn't want to, but I asked some of my friends and they thought it was the best thing because we were already emotionally attached to each other and almost physically attached. So, I went to him and called it off. I was crying through the whole breakup and he comforted me. He said a lot of sweet stuff, but I wanted him to say "no, don't leave me." Instead he said, "I was thinking about it too. I was going to ask someone about it." Did he respect me enough to find the best solution? we went out that Friday and had a wonderful time and I guess it was hard for the both of us since there was still an obvious attraction between us. Then that weekend, an incident happened and I felt ashamed. I went to talk to him and told him I was hurting. He comforted me again and said he was hurting too and he wants me to move on and be happy. It hurts every time he touches me or even holds me. One day, he kissed me everywhere (forehead, cheeks and nose) except for lips. I didn't know if it meant anything. I thought that maybe things were back to normal. I invited him to the room and he said he would come, but he told a friend that he wouldn't be able to. I was upset, because I thought he could've said no in the beginning. I want him back, but I don't know if it is a good idea, because if we do have sex, I can't be mad at him because he is going to leave in the end. I feel he has been trying to avoid me. I'm just afraid if he has moved on and if I ask him, he will say no. My thing was that, if he wanted to have just sex, there were numerous times we could have done it but he didn't. Did he respect me?
I love him, but I'm just going to give him some space. I know it is going to be hard, but I'm going to try. Time could heal everything.


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  • First of all, breathe. You will not get anywhere with this hodgepodge of details/facts/nonsense. This guy is making you feel bad; why do you want to be with him in the first place? Sounds like a bunch of drama you can do without unless you like it, which seems like you don't. Find someone else.


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