So a few months ago my ex dumped me after 2 and a half years together. Today I find out that she started dating a guy who she said was just a friend. A guy who I was extremely paranoid about and told her that I was fearful and she insisted that it was nothing.
I am experiencing an incredible amount of grief and sadness. I am so upset and I want to text her and yell at her and tell her how upset I am. My friends have advised me that doing this would be a poor idea. All logic for me is out the window at this point. I don't know what to do. Help.
Most Helpful Girl
A similar situation happened with me and my ex. He also said she was a skit and hooked up with all his guy friends. . . he winded up marrying her 3 months after we broke up. You just have to let it go. Trust me, I KNOW, it sucks!!! But don't let her feel that you care, it's only going to give her more satisfaction. I made that mistake, and 4 years later I wish I had never shared my anger or resentment towards him. Just let it be, no matter no hard it is. I'm pretty sure they are divorced now with a 3 year old. Didn't work out so well. Things ALWAYS happen for a reason, I'm just glad I wasn't apart of that. Even though now it seems to kill your heart Everytime you think about it, just know what you'll look back and this time and THANK GOD you weren't with her anymore.1
Most Helpful Guy
Honestly dude, that was my exact scenario when I was your age except I was the one who started dating a friend who my ex had been worried about when we were still together.
In my case, we were never anything more than just friends until several months after I broke up with the girl I had been with for almost 3 years. I think my ex saw that me and this new girl had a lot in common and she even told me a few times before we broke up that she was worried that this new girl who was just a friend might be a better match. At the time, I didn't see it that way... she was just a friend.
After becoming single though, just through the course of hanging out as just friends it evolved and we did eventually start going out.
And it hurt my ex, which I did feel bad about, because they had become friends too. So not only was I now dating a girl I had just been friends with, but it was also my EX's friend that I was dating. Complicated situation.
Anyway, don't spend too much time or energy worrying about it. It doesn't sound like there was any evidence that she was cheating on you with this guy when you were still together, right? No solid evidence?
Give her the benefit of the doubt. The relationships been over for months anyway, so it's time for both of you to move on. Look at it as a learning experience.
It's obvious that your relationship with her was serious since you were together for 2.5 years, but at the same time it didn't end up working out.
She's obviously going to move on and date other guys, and you'll date other girls. If she's happy with this other guy and he treats her well, then you should feel happy for her. I'm sure you do want her to be happy and find the right guy, and if it's this dude then fine.
But you need to be worried about you, not her. She's no longer your business. Focus on your own life, get yourself in shape and start meeting new women to date and be happy with.1