The problem? I'm that "only if" girl... I've heard a million guys say "you'd be the perfect girl IF you didn't have 'issues.'" My dad was a drunk growing up and I never learned how to properly argue with men or trust them as a result. yet I constantly think men are the solution to and cause of all problems.
I get upset with the guy I'm dating usually because I think he's wronged me, and instead of letting it go- I make matters worse. He'll beg to get off the phone or threaten to hang up on me... and instead of walking away and being like, ok, let's talk tomorrow... I find the insatiable need to "fix" things right then and there and talk it out. This leads to me threatening to drive to his place and acting like that "crazy girl" that even I would make fun of.
I hate this part of me, it's ruined countless relationships and even being friends with exes afterwards. I don't know what to do~ I felt like I was fine until we slept together. But even when we were dating, I'm like literally the worse person to fight with because I won't want to leave a convo until we are on good terms again- which never happens.
What do I do? Am I destined to become a cat lady and live alone? I'm attractive, smart and witty- but my "issues" make me an insecure ex-gf from hell... ugh.
-ugh, annoyed with self
My ex and I were fine with minimum contact for 5 months after breakup... then we started having "ex-sex" and something emotional came up in me and now I call him all the time and having countless "the talks." I know I'm doing literally EVERYTHING they say you shouldn't do as an ex... but how do I stop? All my friends are in relationships and it exacerbates my loneliness
Most Helpful Guy
Really, I can't give you anything to do to keep you from persisting. This is just something you're going to have to force yourself to do. While it is a very good idea to try and fix relationship problems, it is a bad idea to do it while you're in a p*ssy mood. If anything, you need to just learn to hang up and blow off steam before you try to fix anything. At that point, calmly discuss the situation with your boyfriend and explain to him why it upset you. Your boyfriend needs to do the same.
Some reasons that you need to fix these things:
-If you refuse to let something go, then your boyfriend will probably not want to try and talk things out with you in the future. Hence, no problems will get fixed, and your relationship is screwed.
-Sex is more emotional for women than for men (most of the time). For your ex, sex is just sex, and he can keep from stirring up feelings from it. If you can't just have casual sex with him, then don't do it at all. Your relationship is done, and sex isn't going to repair it.
-If you're p*ssy when you're trying to fix things, you will not come to a reasonable solution. You will be flinging blame and accusations back and forth, and hate each others' guts. You just have to learn to stop. This isn't even about arguing with guys, but with people in general.0