I just need someone to hear me out and maybe help me make sense of this. I don't know what to do with my life right now. I'd appreciate it if you read til the end.
I met a guy in the beginning of the school year, September. he told me he liked me in march (texting) and we started hanging out. I started to like him too after about a week because he was so cute and sweet to me. He would say I'm stunning, beautiful, the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. But this was my first time with a boy. I know this is pretty sad because I'm 17, but that's the truth. I did however like him and wanted to show him, so I let a few things happen which was all I was ready for. I let him hold my waist, my hands. We hugged a lot and that was my comfort zone. obviously I knew that if we stayed together id give him more like maybe a kiss, but I wasn't gonna give him my first kiss after a couple weeks. He'd already gotten so many of my firsts, I was content for now.
Anyways, here comes the heartbreak. I thought things were going great. We'd been hanging out for 2 months and I thought we'd start dating soon But turns out I was wrong. I was on his Instagram by accident yesterday and a girl from another highschool was in his bio and profile pic, like he is in hers. She has a picture of them with their fingers interlocked. They've known eachother a week. So I texted him and he said he's moved on. pretty much what he said was its cause not enough "happened" in our 2 months. I thought things were great but then he just goes and dates a girl he met a week ago. that just makes me wonder if he'll ditch me so fast, how could he have meant all those things he said to me? I feel like dirt. And I know I shouldn't be but I feel guilty that I didn't give him enough when I had the chance. He says he hates me and doesn't know why he ever liked me. I've been crying since this happened. It's 5 AM and I'm crying. I knew it wasn't gonna last forever but I didn't think it would end like this. I miss him.
Most Helpful Guy
He loved you at a certain point, and even considered you as a potential girlfriend. Now his attention is with another girl who is exciting his imagination.
Welcome to the era of high speed dating, which is relegating vanilla courtship to a thing of the past.
A lesson you should take from this experience. Guys are like high speed stock traders, constantly moving their efforts every second to girls that offer the best profit.
You are probably more cute than the girl he is paying attention to now. The fact is, guys look for sex to find love; girls look for love to find sex. While that might not be applicable to everyone, it seems that's what has happened in your situation.
Hold yourself together. I know it's easy said than done. There are many great guys out there right now who are looking for a girl like you.
In my last breakup, the following worked for me; it could work for you too.
# Step 1
The first thing I do is embracing I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light. Recognising my inability to effect a desirable change is itself relieving.
# Step 2
I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.
# Step 3
I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting for her to come back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.
# Step 4
I focus on the good memories she brought to my life. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.
# Step 5
I remove items that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.
# Step 6
While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.
# Step 7
I draw inspiration from my first breakup. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.1
Most Helpful Girl
"He says he hates me and doesn't know why he ever liked me"
He sounds like a fucking jerk to me. I'm not sure why you'd miss a trash guy like him. He belongs in the dirt. Not with a girl like you who actually has values. It sounds to me like he was after sexual things more than you might have realized. The fact that he comments that not enough happened tells me what his intentions were. You deserve so much more and better. There's no magic words that can erase the pain; but rest assured that time will help heal your wounds. Most of us have gotten through heartbreaks (in my case MANY times) and even though it never gets easy; it does empower you and make you stronger and wiser. When you look back in a few years you'll be so happy it didn't work out with him. Your right match is out there for you and is looking forward to meeting a girl just like you. Remember; a guy not liking you is not a reflection of YOU. It's a reflection of the connection that is not there between you two. There's nothing wrong with you. The universe just didn't intend for you two to be together because there's someone better, more attractive and more compatible for you. Your MR right is searching for you and this had to happen in order for you to meet he right guy someday.1