He still has some feelings for me BUT he is single & noncommittal?

We dated for almost 1yr. He acted like a boyfriend; bought presents, met his family, said he loved me.

His ex f-ed him up before me & he said he would NEVER want a girlfriend. But he acted like it, I was happy.

He left for uni (3hrs away). At first he was super cute, but got closer with new people & cut me out. Almost ghosting. He said when he first left for uni that he couldn’t wait to move back & be with me properly.

Recently we started texting a bit, called once & snapchatted heaps. A few days of this & we found time to grab a drink (he was home). It was fun & friendly. No pressure.

He said a few things when meeting (all by him):
- Said he treated me badly, the whole time, not just the end & took me for granted
- He has been sleeping with people. One friend I 'm worried will be something more, but if he’s sleeping with others also then maybe I'm wrong. For the most-part of our ‘relationship’ we were exclusive.
- Said he wanted to be with me but one day realised he couldn't commit & would hurt me if he stayed e. g. cheated. He doesn’t feel like he EVER wants a relationship with ANYONE
- Said he sat there still with feelings, interest & missed me
- Said that none of these new girls are close to what I was, they are just sex.
- Said “we’ll do it again, I know we will”, meaning us or something to do with us.
- He was glad we could sit there after everything, talk & remember happy times.

He texted after saying he had a really good night & put an x.

We snap chatted yesterday but later I messaged & he was distant. I asked if he regretted meeting up & he said “I don’t regret it, I had heaps of fun”. I felt needy, so backed off. Sent him a funny link today, no reply. He’s gone again...

I still mean something, just don’t know what. I want him but know it won’t happen atm with his commitment issues. I hate that he doesn't feel the pull to chat anymore. I want to fix him & be together again!

I will probably see him in a few weeks when our friend is in town.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 2

  • Forget young guys lol they seem to enjoy giving girls problems

  • He sounds like he is emotionally unavailable. Read up about it if you haven't. "Baggage reclaim" is an amazing site!!! With EU men comes fear of intimacy and commitment issues. He probably wants a relationship or at the least by the sounds of his sleeping with others, the fringe benefits of one without the relationship responsibilities. Blowing hot and cold is a big factor in EU as well, and it seems he has done plenty of that with you. He wants to pull you in but pushes you away if you react to it in a positive way. They're also terrible communicators when it comes to serious things like relationships and feelings. Any of this sound familiar? These are issues that he needs to deal with personally. It's nothing you've done or anything you can change. But reading more into this behavior may help you understand a little better.

    • This is the best comment I have ever got. You have no idea how much your insights have helped. Will check out this website now!

    • Show All
    • He didn't talk to me yesterday and has snap chatted me today (i didn't reply). So annoying! I want believe that he does still have some feelings for me, that I was different and that he just can't do it, but when he drifts and out its harder to believe all the nice things he says.

    • The push and pull he does is basically him setting a boundry. It's a defense mechanism so you maintain at a distance he is comfortable with having you at. Mine floated in and out as well, but towards the end he did the fade out, where he stopped initiating contact but would reply to mine, and then eventually he'd just not reply at all. It says a lot about them and their behavioral issues. It's immature and they lack communication skills. Yours doesn't seem at this point yet, however it's good to know about so you can look out for it:)

Recommended myTakes