Is he afraid of commitment? How can you lose a connection so fast?

I was friends with a guy online for 5 years. Nothing more. Then he told me he was moving near where I live and wanted to meet up. We did and very unexpectedly, sparks flew. A few days later I told him I liked him, but I knew he had commitment issues in the past and I was a serious type girl. He said he liked me too, but wasn't sure if he was ready, so I told him no. He threatened to kill himself. Clearly, that should have made me run, he said "overtime I start to care about a girl, she cuts me out of her life". (love is blind). We spent the next few months talking prior to his move and became very close, we decided we wanted to the same things, were developing real feelings and would try a relationship when he moved. We spoke all day, everyday. We spoke about everything we wanted to build together because something special happened when we met. He moved a month ago and I spent two weekends with him. We did not have full sex, but came close and there was amazing sexual chemistry. He held my hand everywhere we went. Said his house felt "empty" when I leave. The texts me to say we should just be friends, because he doesn't know what's wrong with him, his past relationships block him and he only likes me as a friend and is attracted to me, but doesn't like me enough to get serious. I swear, we were playing around in his pool, making out and laughing two days before. I went off on him and was upset for like a week and a half and he blocked me, now he's unblocked me all of a sudden. I don't want him anymore, nor have I contacted him, because he just wants me to want him and that's not gonna happen. Just trying to understand how you can go so hot and cold, how you can learn so much about someone over months of talking, feel that spark initially and then it's just gone? I admit there was some awkwardness in the weekends we spent, but I really chocked this up to jitters and nerves of being together, not that all we had talked about was a mistake or our first meeting a fluke


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What Guys Said 2

  • He threatened to commit suicide if you leave but he isn't ready for a relationship. God you're dumb. That was nothing but a way to manipulate you and you were stupid enough to fall for it. You should've told him to stop talking about it and get after it. Even if he did you're not responsible for others actions. Good riddance

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    • I admitted it was dumb. But that wasn't my question.

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    • I'm sorry you met one

    • Same here!! Have a funny feeling eventually I'll be getting some messages if I keep ignoring him and he can just move along... His loss.

  • I act like that sometimes because I get the impression it could go somewhere then she gives me the impression I have been wasting my time so I get angry and quit giving my time to her to avoid games because my feelings were hurt.

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    • I didn't hurt his feelings though. I was good to him.

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    • I'm not contacting him, just find it odd that he unblocked me all of a sudden. I think he just wants me to want him. I'm not going to feed his ego.

    • Good for you! :)

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