(kind of long) should you marry someone when you're internally struggling a lot? Can you love someone when you barely love yourself?

I've been struggling with depression since a young age. Most my life I was locked up. I dropped out of school at 13. Never had friends or a job. I have no control over my emotions. I have no patience. I don't know how to react to things. I get frustrated easily. I'm not very smart. I'm 20 years old with the mentality of a 13 year old. I'm currently living with my fiancé in the USA. We're supposed to be getting married in a month so we can be together. I've been living here, for 2 years and I haven't had much of a life here either. Long story short we've been arguing endlessly because of my depression & the fact that I act childish. I'm having doubts of the marriage. We argue often then say it was just heated but it's getting to me. I'm always depressed, I'm struggling mentally, and I shutdown/breakdown easily because I'm just so done with myself. It's like daily I feel horrible with struggles I have with myself but on top of it to know that I make my partner constantly feel like shit and that I make him feel worthless. Makes me feel suicidal. Knowing I make other people's lives feel miserable is like I'm actually worthless you know? Anyways being here not doing anything with myself and being around his family makes me wish I did better at forming relationships with my family. I feel really terrible and alone. I love this man and I know he loves me. I want to marry him very badly but I'm not sure it's the right descion anymore. How can you live with someone knowing you make them unhappy and knowing you can't do anything about it bcause you're struggling? I don't know what to do and I feel really terrible. Any words of wisdom or advice


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well it is not the time to get married. You need a doctor. Your need therapy. A marriage will ruin you and him. Don't get into that. Get healed!


What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like you are struggling with major depression. This isn't your fault. Most often it has more to do with a chemical imbalance and learning better coping stratagies than anything about you as a human.

    Its really insightful and brave to see the issues in your relationship and question them. If you have issues loving yourself it can push relationships into something very co-depended (I have some personal experiences there).
    I can't say if marriage is right for you right now, but I do know that relationships don't magically change after the wedding.

    Either way I can see you are fighting an internal battle. Talking with a counselor or therapist could really help you get more clarity of your life. (There are even some new online counseling options if that's an issue).


    • Thank you. I really liked the picture you attached.

    • Show All
    • Do you know of any websites for self help? Or any websites where I could find more pictures like those?

    • Boggle the owl is a line of cartoons about mental health. I think it is a tumbler page.

      Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth was helpful for me.

  • Get a therapist to help u out


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