Access for children. Can anyone help?

Hey all. My relationship ended over a year ago and access for the children with their dad has been up and down. He comes when he wants sometimes weeks and maybe months apart. I stopped access in march which was the hardest thing iv had to do. But the children (younger) got so upset to the point they was crying in school a lot.
Since September the ex got a girlfriend and from my point of view he stopped seeing his kids to spend more time with her. I know this because the das he was ment to be having his children he would be out partying with her.
Which really hurts coz the kids shold come first.
We now are to start mediation (coz iv never not wanted him to be a dad but want him to understand that the children should come first and be his prioty)
He's taken 2 of the children to meet and spend the day with his girlfriend. This was abit ago and after not seeing them for months. The older 2 have met her and said she's nice but they don't want to see her every time they see their dad. And my youngest says she never wants to meet her.
As you can see the kids are divded coz he rushed into them meeting her. They have now moved into together and mediation is still not set up coz I asked him to sort it out and 2 months later I find that I'm sending the forms off.
I'm really worried about my children's feelings. My eldest started having panic attacks around September this was when contact declined. I know I can't tell him what to do can only suggest things it's just that it's been emotionally hard for my girls.
Has anyone been/going through this that can give me advice? I am thinking let him pick his days bla bla but I'm also thinking he's had it so easy coz I didn't stand my ground. Thing is our relationship wasn't good and I found it hard to stand my ground didn't want to rock the boat etc. Please any advice would be brilliant thank you


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What Guys Said 2

  • U pick days and if he doesn't turn up tell him he can't see them. Don't let him rule you its not about him its about the kids and if his current ways are hurting their feelings then u must stop it.

    • This is it this is his 2nd chance. But I do feel like he doesn't care about them. I told him and his family how the kids where feeling. But it wasn't until my daughters key worker said she would ring him. It really shouldn't have come to that. I know I have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Just don't want my kids back at that horrible place again,

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    • Ok thank you for that. It's something I brought up as one of the older children doesn't want his name, so I did say that you can just remove his name but maybe looking into adding mine. Also for travel. But hos reply was I don't know why you want to what are you gaining from it?

    • Just tell him its not about you gaining its about what the kids want. Good luck with it all, let me know how it all goes when your sorted out :-)

  • What country are you in?

    • UK why?

    • I don't know laws there as far as court ordered visitation

    • I can't take him to court because I can't make him be a dad. I would have to stop full contact and he take me to court for not letting him see them. This is why I chose mediation because I could request it.

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