Moved Too Fast then Freaked out Is there a chance?

I had been seeing a man for a couple of months and it moved very fast.. he wanted to be exclusive after just a few weeks and then wanted to stay at my house every night when he wasn't traveling for work said he loved me after just 3 weeks. He brought over a tooth brush and started bring clothes etc and i pushed back saying no room in the closet.. He was devoting all of his free time to me and in return I felt pressured to do the same... I started nagging about things that bothered me and finally said he needed space (but poor communication made me freak out about this). These things I realize didn't bother me so bad but I was feeling a lot of pressure and he was too. We both neglected real life for a bit and i feel like he resented me for letting it stack up on him and we both got very confused. He has a devastatingly packed next month and all the pressure on him and me to be perfect for him. We skipped becoming friends because of feelings compatibility and attraction. He said he needed space then we fought then he stayed the night (no sex) next day ran off and gave me my key needed space again then we fought then he stayed the night (no sex) following day he told me he wanted to break up. That night we talked and he wanted it to work he came over and I felt he was still a bit off when he got in bed to stay the night (no sex) and ended up saying it may be best if he doesn't stay the night... he drove me back to my car and unloaded seething hate on me then blocked me from his facebook messenger and hasn't spoken to me again. Its only been a day and he was moving... He has the next month of an impossible life 4 trips out of town (15 Days), moving (remodel project), job only 2 months in, drill and a pt test... Do you think it just became to much? Maybe he moved so fast because he was so busy? Really never meant anything? Or just unavailable? Should he or I ever maybe try again being friends? Or try again? I am 30 he is 38.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Look if you freaked out due to what happened, I wouldn't expect him to change unless he himself wants to. But in terms of love, and if he actually felt "true love" then it's a dangerous road.

    In some regard, it seems like a game, and if he felt hostile towards you and you didn't do, anything, really, then it's just not worth being with him. In fact, after all this, all this speed, is that what you really want from a relationship? Do you want that clingy behavior, do you want all that? Are you willing to get back with him and relive it? Are you willing to see a possible breakup again? A breakup that will probably end things permanently?

    What you had wasn't healthy. Reading it, the twists, the turns. It made me feel somewhat sick. And not sick as in disgusting, just sick as in that must've sucked! Frankly, I would ignore him, continue no contact, and not worry what the heck drove the relationship to a close. It's not worth the time. In fact, I think you'd be better off and would feel happier.

    Only try being friends if both of you are okay with the other one dating someone else. And be clear about it. Otherwise it won't work, and will end up with more hurt feelings.

    You'll find someone better, and you'll now know which kinds of people aren't compatible with you.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think he honestly knew what he wanted but it wasn't going the way he wanted because he has no control what you do and feel on your end. I think its a good thing that you dodged this one to be completely honest, it didn't start out right and it didn't end right, it just seems like he's rushing then he's backing off and it's mind games really.

    • I wonder if he knew but went around it sooo bad because of the transitions in his life.

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