What do I do now or nothing?

I have been with a guy for five years and we have always been close. Frequently gets me flowers etc. We started looking at houses. He was getting quite into the idea of buying somewhere, he then found out his job might be at risk at work and started shutting me out and said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me. He is away for work pretty much constantly so we have drifted abit recently but I do feel it is possible to save. He said that he doesn't have the fight in him anymore to bother and he doesn't know how he feels. This is when we was about to buy a house. He kept changing how he felt and I said on the phone does he want me to break up with him as he doesn't know how and he said no. But he wasn't showing me he wanted to be with me just kept saying he didn't know. He received a job update and we put down an offer on a house which we planned to pull out of should he lose his job. Anyway, on that call I said maybe we should break up as he clearly didn't know how he felt so looks like he needed space to do that. He just kept saying I dunno. So I said I hope the redundancy thing goes well and I am here if he wants to chat but it sounded like he just wanted space rather than me annoying him.
I messaged him a few times - ok a few times every other day since. No replies.
I contacted his parents via email as he lives with them and bottles stuff up. He is clamming up but won't say why and is just saying I won't be around for a while as I am studying. I am really heartbroken. I left it for two weeks but Saturday I went to his house as I needed closure he kept saying he didn't feel anything anymore and just wants to be alone and wouldn't go near me. Said he will be away for work a lot now as someone got made redundant. Said he just wants to be away and not at home anymore. Said he hasn't thought of me at all and is really happy.

Continued in update...
He looked a mess and was just in a confused state, can tell he was upset etc. Wouldn't look at me without eyes watering. Clenching fists looking out the window. He looked so upset. Just kept banging on how much he loves his job and being away and how as long as he has his dvds and play station he is happy. Can't work it out!!! he said he didn't miss me or think of me at all but later said he was worried my parents would Hate him. Said he had been out and stuff but I spoke to them before...
And none of them had heard from him. He simply said he can't say he loves me back anymore. Didn't say he didn't just said he can't. Xx


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just let it be and move on. Something must have happened to him in his personal life that is beyond his control and it's probably something really bad. You have no control over it either so just don't think too much about and and move on, because bad things can and will often happen unexpectedly when people least expect them to. If things work out with your boyfriend's job and life then it's more than likely he'll get back to you, if not, then there's not more you can really do other than to get back to and focus on yourself for now.


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  • Do nothing.


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