How can I get my ex boyfriend back?

I had been with my ex for almost four years. We went on a break awhile back and then at the end of January I told him I needed to know what was going on with our relationship. He said he didn't want a relationship with me. I was a little clingy (not gonna lie) and he said I always seemed mad or in a bad mood. But he said we would stay friends and that he still loved me. He also said that when we were "boyfriend/girlfriend" and had that label I was so much more needy. I know that that's true though. I always wanted to hangout with him.

Anyways, since January we still talk almost everyday--either over the phone or text or instant messaging. He told me the other day that he was seeing someone. Although he actually didn't say the words. It seemed like he couldn't. His voice was shaky and he sounded scared. His new girl made him call me and tell me he can't talk to me anymore. I could hear her talking in the background. When I answered the phone I asked him what's up and he replied "hanging out with kristen.". He then said he couldn't talk to me anymore because it was causing drama in some aspects of his life. I asked him what he meant by this and he didn't say anything. I then just bluntly asked him if he is seeing someone. He replied yes and I simply told him, "I didn't know. I'm sorry. Ill talk to you later." We hung up and I was instantly crying. A few hours later he texted me and said "I'm so sorry."

I could barely sleep that night. I was devastated and cried a lot. I had a text in the morning from him that said he would call me later, that he didn't want me to hate him, and that wasn't how he wanted it to happen. When he called me he was a mess. He said he couldn't sleep at night. He felt horrible for what he did. We had a good talk and he even ended up crying. My ex rarely cries. I have only seen him cry two other times. He told me he loves me and he is amazed that I can forgive him for what the did the night before. He apologized a billion times and I found out she made him call me. He told her we is friends with almost all of his exes--which is true. He and I didn't end badly. In fact I don't feel like it has completely ended. He said he will be my friend no matter what.

I'm in such a bad place right now. I cry a lot now and miss him SO much! I have always missed him since the breakup, but now that he is seeing someone I am scared we will never get back together. Anyone have any advice for me? I would love to get back with him. I love him so much.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He doesn't want to be with you. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. If he felt bad enough for starting to see another girl, he would have left her to go back to you. I went through a very very hard break up last year, it tore me apart for months. I know how you feel, I really do, but you have to learn that there are other men/guys out there, the chances are high that you will find one that is better match for you than this guy. You will find one who loves you for you who are, flaws and all. Give your self some time. Don't take his calls or texts. He can't keep stringing you along by giving you a little bit. Its unfair to you.


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What Girls Said 2

  • His excuse for breaking up with you is really weak. He could've just told you what he didn't like so that will give you a chance to work on it, or accepted you for who you are. If he is that weak to give up just like that then this guy doesn't deserve your love. Give him a taste of his own medicine by not contacting him. Try to "disappear" for a while...take a vacation...get yourself busy..anything. Try to focus on what is important here...yourself.

    • Clingyness is not a weak excuse.....because jealousy, paranoia, self conciseness, and obsession are right behind........

    • That's true but those are normal human tendencies that can be controlled and minimized if there is a risk of loosing the person you love.

  • Time to move on emotionally. It's over with him. That much seems clear.


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