When a girl claims she just lost feelings for you, what can it mean?

[Anonymous]

Let's get this clear, she ADORED me. But then one day after 5 months, right out of the blue she decided she just lost her feelings for me and wanted to break up. I wanted to know why. She couldn't come up with a single valid reason. I hadn't done anything wrong and she cried when I told her that I did not want to be friends after this.

But it's so weird, because it really came out of nowhere. I thought our relationship was perfect. She was crazy about me, and I about her, but all of a sudden she just decided she didn't wan to be with me anymore. There was no fight that led up to it, our sex life was fantastic, I just don't know what happened.

I mean the only explanation I can get is that she just fell out of love with me. But I just don't get how that happens and it doesn't feel like enough of an explanation. And is it possible for her feelings to come back after making that decision? She took her time with it and really thought it through before breaking up because I don't think she was all too keen on hurting me.

I just want to know how it happens. And if there's any chance she'll wake up and realize that she misses me and wants me back.

[superasker]

Alright sir. Let's take a step back.

You'e right. These things never happen just out of the blue (but they always seem like they do!). The fact of the matter is that she's been falling out of love with you for awhile. Why? Because that is reality, and reality makes sense. Whether it's been weeks or months, it's been happening for awhile so hopefully I can make you see this as you reflect on the things that have happened between you and her in the past little while. You haven't revealed any details about recent events, but if you look back I'm sure you will start seeing red flags as you read this.

The woman's answer to this behaviour is the movie "500 days of Summer". (Read about it, and you'll find it never gives you answers to a woman's behaviour, but to simply accept life as it is). The man's answer is that a woman's feelings don't die - it wanes as a result of a man's actions and reactions to his woman. I prefer this explanation.

So I want you to look back at everything that happened to you and your girl. Maybe you guys have been spending every possible moment together. Did she ever have a chance to miss you? How often did you hang out with your buddies? Are you a CHALLENGE for her, do you intrigue her and make her work for your attention and respect? What about your own aspirations? Did they take a backseat for your girl? Were you two jealous of each other at all?

Did you ever take a backseat at being a man with your own dreams so you could please her, be with her, etc?

What I'm trying to get at, is that even though things are great on the surface, there is ALWAYS a reason. Simply "falling out of love" is not one of them, that's a RESULT. However, in general, what generally happens is that a woman is evaluating you as long-term material, and if you aren't a man who can fit the bill, you're gone. And the sad thing is, she will never know the reasons why, because a lot of the time it's subconscious.

But please, provide more details, because it's hard to tell what's going on from what you've posted.

[Asker]

First off, she said she literally lost feelings for me after one day. That one day she adored me, and that very next day she woke up with second thoughts.

The only thing I could have done wrong was lacking in the challenge department. I was awesome at it at first, but I kind of got bored of being a challenge after we had really settled down. I figured it wasn't necessary. Not to say I didn't still make her work from time to time, but yeah I wasn't the same as I was in the beginning.

[superasker]

Ok you will understand one day that people don't lose feelings after one day. They simply stop acting after one day.

But the fact that you stopped being a challenge is a huge factor. What makes you think that she will stay with you if you stop being a Challenge? Isn't that what attracted her to you in the first place? Remember - don't ever stop being a challenge.

Just ask any woman out there - probably the most important quality us men should have.

[superasker]

In response to your other question about whether she will come back:

Yeah it's possible. Happens all the time. But since you haven't changed yourself, it won't last. And since she hasn't changed, it won't last either.

Do yourself a favor and forget about her :) you deserve better.

[Leeon]

I'm sorry about what happens to you. You seem to care about her a lot. Okay, here's the thing, people don't just wake up one morning and fell out of love with someone. You miss all the trouble signs that your relationship was going down the drain. The truth is that she's no longer interested in you that's why she left you. It doesn't matter if she didn't intended on hurting you, you still going to get hurt no matter how she phrase it. Right now you're looking for a reason why she broke up with you. When you thought your relationship was perfect as a matter of fact your relationship was in serious trouble. A relationship is a partnership between two people. If one person fells out than the partnership ends no matter how great the other partner is. The partner that ends the relationship first get hurt the least. Right now, you're hurt by what happens but I don't think she feels the same way. And I don't think there's a chance that she will wake up and realize that she misses you and wants you back. Of course that's what we say to ourselves in order to give us hope and comfort but we need to face the reality. She isn't coming back. You need to let her go from your mind and heart. That's the only way for you to get back to your normal self again. Good luck.

[jeremy]

When a girl claims she just lost feelings for you, what can it mean?

There are a few potential reasons why a girl might say she's lost feelings for you. It could be that she's genuinely not interested in you anymore, or that she's interested in someone else. It could also be a way of telling you that she's not ready for a serious relationship.

If a girl says she's lost feelings for you, it's important to talk to her about it and try to figure out what's going on. If she's genuinely not interested in you anymore, there's not much you can do about it. But if she's interested in someone else, you might be able to win her back.

If a girl says she's not ready for a serious relationship, it might just mean that she's not ready to commit to you. This doesn't mean you should give up on her, though. Just give her some time and see if she changes her mind.

[genericname85]

first of all: sorry bro. this really sucks. nobody likes to be left like this out of the blue.

i know that being in your situation one would gravitate to wanting her back and trying to figure out how to fix it so you can be back together with her.

i think it is very reasonable for you to try to figure out why that shit happened but since she's evidently not even wanting to tell you the reason, i would see her as quite disrespectfull towards someone that commited considerable ressources (life time and such are ultimately limited ressources that you only have so much of).

so i get your desire to be a good partner. and i think you did everything a good partner should do. it to me seems like she's not being a good partner tho, so i feel like you're wasting your resources on her. i think with every additional effort you undertake, you're in a sense devaluing yourself. hold your head up. you did everything you could. try to move on and find someone that appreciates when someone commits to them like you did to her.

[miichellee]

So regarding the fact that she cried when you told her you don't wanna be friends anymore, she does not hate you. And it was probably breaking her heart thinking all you two did was just nothing, and all past. And you don't lose feelings for someone all of a sudden. And i do not think she did lose her feelings. Maybe she has more complex reasons. I can't figure them out.
And if she did, wake up and decide that she lost her feelings, and then again wakes up and decides she misses you, don't take her back! Or maybe explain to her how taking decisions without any kind of thinking is never okay.
But i predict this didn’t actually happen

[jennifer_bloom]

If she likes you and broke up with you it might be a compatibility issue, a family issue or a social standing issue, I’ve rejected guys I was extremely attracted to cause they had health problems and I did not believe they would make strong and assertive parents and I’ve rejected guys who had high status cause they did not view me as equally worthy as them during hang outs and I’ve rejected guys I liked cause I feared pregnancy and did not think I was mature enough to be a mom.

[chunlilovesvega]

This is just your version of things you can't really know what was happening in her emotional state. Maybe she realized that you two aren't really right for each other, it happens. She might have liked you for a reason but in time she realized that there are more things that she just disliked about you... and there's nothing wrong with that. Not every male and female can make the perfect couple...

[uberprincess]

As a girl it’s way harder to move on. She doesn’t want to be reminded of you obviously cause she’s not over you I’m sure she’s still upset over it and might miss you but it’s hard because she knows you don’t belong together.

[Molks]

Should I text her as a friend or sth?

[Molks]

Oh , and we broke up bc we were arguing a lot and thats what made her to lose feelings. I tried to make her an offer to not argue anymore and to make a small pause in our relationship but she refused. So? Now she maybe wants it after thinking of it

[uberprincess]

How long were you together? What did you fight about? If you think it’s easily fixed, which if it was then I’d assumed it would have been then and there... but otherwise just move on And wait for someone to come along where you don’t fight. That person exists :)

[Molks]

We had been together for a year. We had been fighting over that thing that she had lack of interest for anything (not just me but for family and friends too, she started to be like lazy in social life ) and I was frustrated all the time about it and have complained about it etc. When I was in the relationship I thought that the only way that could fix it was a brakeup (a pause) so she could realise that I'm not for granted and she should put more effort in the relationship.

[Electric_Dreams]

Usually she put them in a "safe place" and now cannot remember where that is.. in my experience often it is in some kind of container whether that's a box, a cupboard or a drawer. On a hook is another likely place.

[MarissaG416]

This is easy, because I do this all the time to guys ( I'm not a jerk btw lol) but she prob met another guy, got bored or was just bored and wanted someone to talk to and be with. Sometimes girls don't care about the guy they are with as long as they are with someone...usually this means the girl is clingy. That's my opinion.

[Asker]

I don't think that's completely it. For a while her happiness was me, that was obvious. I wasn't just anyone to her, people could see it. She claims that there is no one else, and I'm not completely sure about that one. I think she may have drunkenly cheated and broke up with me out of remorse and just couldn't bear to tell me the real reason (but I really don't want to believe that).

[Anonymous]

She wants other people!!! And her friends are probably peer pressuring into that also. I'm sure if she did not have those types of friends, you and her would still be together. She is distracting herself from you. Once she loses those friends I'm sure she will come running back, but sounds like to me you need/deserve better than her.

[Anonymous Asker]

That's what I was thinking... I just didn't want to believe it. Thank you

[DearLife]

It sounds like high school bullshit. Maybe she wanted to do things with those girls that you wouldn't be cool with. Like go to clubs, flirt with guys etc.

[KrakenAttackin]

Easy, she found someone else. Women can drop their feelings for a man in a nanosecond, even if they are married and have kids with him. If the right Chad Thundercock comes along she will bounce like a bad check.

[selmo93]

Probably missed being single and they didn't approve

[Anonymous Asker]

What do you mean they didn't approve?

[selmo93]

Well you said yourself they wanted her to themselves. The fact she was cutting time etc shows they didn't want you guys together

[Anonymous Asker]

Makes sense. They were most likely jealous of the relationship they couldn't have. Most of their relationships never even lasted past a month 😂

[selmo93]

Exactly. So wouldn't take it that she did it for anything you did. Girls are just like that

[Staryboy1492]

Feelings don't just 'go away ' like people say. They are in a constant state of flux. Just play it by ear.

[curiousguy02]

She got away cause you allowed it. I am in the same situation with the "clingy" girlfriend but having a clingy girlfriend means she loves you. You could of completely av

[Naim1234]

She maybe back but I think you should only be a friend with her if you want to.

[WhitneySnow]

Sometimes this happens. I don't know why.

[wootamandawoot41]

that you aren't rich or successful enough

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she wasn’t feeling taken for granted?

[Anonymous]

She's a flake. You're better off without her.

[ElissaDido]

Just let it go

[Dchrls78104]

You need a new girl.