I meant a long term relationship/marriage vs. A short term relationship.
We were together for 8 years, married 5. No cheating or abuse. She said she just became unhappy. We had a perfect relationship. She was even planning a vacation for us the week before she left. We decided on Hawaii, she was all excited. And she was intimate up untill the night before she left. Didn't see it coming at all. But surely after 8 years she didn't just leave on a whim. Regardless it was quiet the shock to me.
Oh no, she definitely didn't leave on a whim. She's been thinking about it for a long time, probably at least a year. You've been together a long time, she may just need a breather. I think your chances are better, especially if you were married. It seems like people will work harder to fix a marriage than they would for a relationship.
Well she says she's not in love with me anymore, so I'm not holding out much hope. Also a couple of months after she left she started sleeping around. She told me about it and was upset and said it was a mistake. It was weird cause she was a virgin before me, and took sex very seriously. She also started drinking a lot and partying. And even bought an expensive sports car that was impractical considering how much she makes. Basically acting completely different from the person I knew for 8 years.
Hmmm... how old is she?
Oh, yeah I see... you guys married pretty young. She hasn't had a chance to get that partying and young stuff oit of her system yet. I don't see this ending well for her. I have a feeling that when the smoke clears and she gets it out of her system that she's gonna want you back... but you might move on by then... I wouldn't advise you to wait... take your time and date when you're ready. I don't wanna give you false hope, but I think down the line she's gonna be back... but there's no telling when, so don't wait. If I were you I would just disappear... completely ignore her... it'll be hard to do though...
Yah, I completely stopped talking to her a little over a month ago. Basically disappeared. But at first I begged and what not, which I know I shouldn't have, and I know she was annoyed. I'm not sure I'd even take her back "if" she were to try. It'd be nice if she did though, cause the ball would be in my court.
Hey, you can't blame yourself for begging. We've all done that at one point, so its ok. Its what you do from here on out. You gotta ignore her, not necessarily to get her back but so you can start healing.
That makes since. In my situation we were together for 8 years and married. But the last year or so wasn't great. We fought a lot, and she left. Said she wasn't in love anymore. But the other 7 years were great. So I don't know.
Just gotta ask yourself if she's worth going back to. Don't be looking at it from her angle, a common mistake with both genders, wondering about the other person. Wonder about you... with all that has happened and the potential of it happening again, is she worth it? you gotta factor in everything from dating times, to marriage to the cause of the fights...
That's true. She did become completely different after she left me ie. Partying and drinking. Basically was almost a different person. I still think it would be funny if she came crawling back. But I highly doubt that'll happen. Plus I probably wouldn't take her back.
seems like you were the one tying her down or something. were you?
No, not at all. She was completely in love with me. She said it was just the last year. She said she started to be unhappy. And like I said, we had started arguing a lot. Weird thing though is the week before she left me she was wanting to go on a vacation. She even started planning it. We had decided on Hawaii. Other than more arguing the last year, she seemed fine. She was even still wanting to be intimate up untill the day before she left me. But after 8 years surely she didn't just leave me on a whim. It was quite t he shock to me though.
I can see how it would be a shock. Seems like she was trying to rekindle things and just decided "fuck it" at the last minute. 8 years huh... y'all married early. too early. Do you guys have kids?
Yah we dated for three years, then got married for 5 years. We moved in together after 2ish years. No kids. Thank God! I wouldn't ever want to put kids through a divorce. We did want kids though. But we agreed we should wait a bit longer untill we had them.
Good thing you did wait. well, looks like she did you a favor mate... throw them shackles away and call someone up.
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