We broke up as he is scared of commitment I think 5 years in?

so our anniversary is in July of five years and we have been looking at buying a house. Or should I say we had been. He then had some job issues and suddenly decided to say he didn't know how he felt anymore as he should feel more excitement about the house and couldn't say if he loved me etc. When I asked if we were together he just kept saying he didn't know, I said about going out for the day etc and he said he just wanted to stay home etc. Due to all this and him cutting me out we broke up. He won't speak to me at all. He is pushing me out.
I have been doing no contract since Monday but this is the third weekend without him. What do I do?

I think the house situation can be discussed and this is a step too far... He just kept banging on about how he is better off alone. His friends now know we have broken up too. His belief is also when you break up its over.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Do not contact him. Do not act needy. Do not ask your common friends about him. Do not answer his calls or messages if he bothers to call you. Do not beg him to even talk.

    Get a flat for yourself, and focus on your job, life and self-improvement. If he is so moving on and thinks things are so easy after 5 years, and if he even says he couldnt say he loved you all those five years, i am sorry but he wasted your time.

    Break things off totally. Even if he asks his stuff back etc. dont answer him. You need to not talk to him or see him in social media etc. for at least 30 days and process your own feelings. maybe you will come to conclusion that he also did not mean anything to you. I am sorry for all those five years wasted.

    • Thank you. I won't as I have a promise to myself not to contact him anymore. It's killing me but it's the only way he will work out what he wants from life. I think he has stuff going through his head so he needs time to work that out. He doesn't use social media he doesn't even use what's app so we have no reason to speak again. X

    • Show All
    • I understand. And every person, every relationship goes through a tough period. If the other person is not as resilient as you are, or does not want to be with you when it is not so sunny on your side, or when it is thunder-storm in your mind, then that person does not truly deserve you. It is easy to be with someone when they are happy, or when you are happy. Important thing is whether you will be with them when they are not in perfect conditions. It is not about relationships being perfect, it is about relationships are not always easy and fun to manage, but you can get through all hard things together when you support the person and when you are willing to get support from that person. I hope he figures out what you want, but now you reflect on your relationship and get your lessons positive or negative for the next chapter in your life, and next relationship in the future.

    • Very true. He needs to man up and he just isn't there yet to realise he is in a five year relationship. So he either needs to get to that point or we go our separate ways. X

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What Guys Said 1

  • He's so fine breaking up with you..
    But.. you can't stay away from him!!
    I recommend you start searching for a new relationship.. because I think he's doing it too 😭


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