How should I end things with my ex?

We have been broken up for a month going back and forth as "friends". he's made me cry many times and blew me off on the 4th of July and left me completely alone, which was the last straw for me. I know I do not want to be with him and I'm ready to meet someone who is good for me. He texted me saying "Did you mean it when you said you want me to stay away from you?" I want to be mature, keep it open for us to be JUST friends in the future after we heal, and make it clear that I'm focusing on myself and moving on. What should I say?

I don't want to be ego-filled, rude, etc, I just want to be to the point and confident.


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What Guys Said 2

  • How long did you date? It takes time to heal from relationships, a month may be too short especially if the last straw was drawn yesterday.

    Did you get all the learnings out of this relationship? What did you learn... don't have to answer me but yourself. I ask as if you haven't then there may be value in staying in contact.

    I don't know what went wrong, so this is general. I'd say "we tried and the relationship did not work, it hurt so I am ending it and moving on."

    Did you ever get counseling (marriage/family). Too bad more people don't think about it as it would help sort out what is really going on. You can still do that individually to help make sense of what is really going on... why you picked someone bad for you, and how to choose better, what things you need and liked, what didn't, etc.. At a minimum, read a dating book so you get some fresh ideas.

    • We dated over a year but kept going back and forth on breaking up or not until I called it off for good because he kept disappointing me and blowing me off. He had serious emotional intimacy problems as well as addiction, which we never addressed, we just pretended it wasn't there bc he's not willing to change a thing. I learned that I want my next relationship to be passionate/emotional and not with someone so shut off, as well as with someone who's actually good for me.

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    • The only problems he had were that he's emotionally unavailable.. He can't express anything, is VERY passive, can't even hardly look me in the eyes, he hates intimacy and vulnerability and declares that openly. He has more to him deep down but chooses to live surface level. I on the other hand am the complete opposite, very expressive and passionate and open and vulnerable.. SO we were quite different actually.

    • It was similar w me and prior girlfriend. he's wounded insude and can't handle your emotion. Both would benefit from counseling... marriage and family.

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