I broke up with the best guy I've ever known! I don't know if it's guilt or I really like him but I'm very upset. I miss him what do I do?

Anonymous
Okay so my story is a bit complicated. Two years back I got to know my guy best friend has a crush on me and later he confessed it to me and I happened to say no because we both were from different religions and I was scared if our relationship got serious there would be huge problems at home. We went on like that for 2 years and after that I told him a yes because I felt I should give us a chance and not leave space for regret later because I was sure he really really loved me although he tried to suppress it. But when I said yes I started freaking out... I had a million butterflies and I was feeling guilty like I was doing something wrong to my parents. And the next day I told this to him and we broke up. He stopped talking to me altogether. The next 10 days were terrible. Horrible. I missed him a looooooooot but I thought maybe what he said was right and we need to stop it because we knew this won't work out. After 10 days he sent me a long text telling me all the problems he was going through and how much he missed me. Very soon he asked me if I was ready to try a second time. I said I needed time to think and take a decision. I thought and thought and eventually said a yes because I knew I would hurt him if I said no and I didn't want to lose him. We were on a long distance and it would continue because we were going to different colleges in different cities. Two days back I don't know what went through my head but I asked him if he was serious about our relationship being long distance and all. He told me all about his plans of meeting me and all regularly. I was still scared that it will end eventually and I told him I'm not sure if my feelings for him are as strong as his for me. Then all hell broke loose. He asked me why I didn't tell him that the second time and why I made him a clown. He blocked me everywhere and told me not to contact him ever again. This is my first relationship experience. I know I'm at fault. Things just happened. i want him back. :'(
I broke up with the best guy I've ever known! I don't know if it's guilt or I really like him but I'm very upset. I miss him what do I do?
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