Long story short. We were together not that long 4 months total but within those 4 months it felt like years. He was mine and I was his. We talked about everything and connected on every level. Things were great. He was and will always be my "One". Anyway he struggled with finding a job until his summer employment started. He closed up from everyone which was something that deep inside killed me knowing i couldnt help. I found postings for jobs he might like tried to get him out everything. A month basically went by after that he was different and told me that he didn't feel like we were growing closer and he didn't feel what he thought he should towards me. He said it was something he thught maybe he planted in his head. i think it was the stress/depression. We broke up. He broke it off with me. After the BU he was the first to initiate contact with me. texting to see how I was etc. This all happend almost 3 months ago. After he contacted me a few times I did too. We wound up having sex which i know bad move. We did a few times over this course. We still talk I still have feelings for him, but I don't know whats going through his mind. He got a temp job and now has his summer job. He told his bff who is a mutual freinf of mine he has to get his life in order before he could take care of anyone else. I still very much love him and see a future. We texted last night and he asked me to hang. Its been awhile since i saw him in person so i went over. We talked a bit about work etc and then he got playful and we had a tickle wrestling match lol. We then had sex. Fell asleep and had sex again. I slept over and left this morning b4 work. He was very loving and even at night he rolled over grabbed me and kissed me etc. To me I feel the feelings might still be there but I don't know. I want to tell him how I still feel and I will even though I chicken out all the time. Saying bye he hugged me and i said none of this awakward crap meaning hugs bye. he said its not awkward.
To me we always kissed bye , but it was fine. I still feel a connection there I am just lost as what to do. I want to tell him, so should I? But why am I so nervous when I feel my most comfortable around him. he is the only person I can totally be myself with and even when dating my freinds and his and his family said we are great for each other, so I don't know whats stopping all this. Could there ever be? Sorry for it so long