I'm trying to get my ex back and now he wants to take it slow... Is that a good thing?

Hi. Me and my ex are constantly fighting for little things, and the last time he broke up with me, he wanted do go back after a month. We did get back together, but it didn't last because we had an argument and he broke up with me again. He's been sick in the stomach for some time and the reason he breaks-up is because he feels more pain and feels ill when we fight. Now, i want him back and we go out last night. But he said that wants to take things slow, and wants me "to be free". According to him is because of his health... Its possible that he doesn't love me anymore and is interested in someone else?
What should i do? Thanks!
update: since this situation happened, he's been talking with me a lot online... maybe i´m wrong, but i guess he wants to "test the waters" before we can get serious again.
what is your opinion, girls and guys?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe that it's a lack of proper communication. You are both not meeting each others needs. Its a lack of understanding how men and women work I believe. Men are logical and problem solvers. They don't consider the emotional aspects of what they say or how they say it. If there's a problem they simply want to fix it.

    Women on the other hand are emotion based. They consider what they say and how they say it so as not to hurt the other persons feelings. They just want to be felt and understood. Not have their problems fixed.

    Knowing how the other person is wired will help you. Sit him down and try to explain all this to him. I hope this helps.

    • When we talked, he said that wasn't going to change his mind and i can be free, go out with other people. I asked if he wanted me to have a relationship with another person, and he said no. Another thing he said is that he is ill and can't be in a relationship because he is ill. I guess that he don't want to come back anymore, I don't know...

Most Helpful Girl

  • You've broken up twice because you fight and when you fight it aggravates his health problems? I mean really, i would fully expect him to want to go slow if he got back together with you at all. Not that you are doing anything bad but he has to be associating his health difficulties with your presence, right? Seems smart and reasonable that he wants to go slow!

    • I understand what its going on in his head, and my friend told me about my temperament... but he isn´t easy to deal with too. I just want to show him that i´m willing to be more patient now, because i miss him as my boyfriend. Since we have been talking a lot, i guess he misses me too...

    • Well if you are patient then show it be going slow, right?

    • Right. But i feel insecure sometimes... Hope everything will turn out ok between us.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Hang in there. Would going on a break help? I don't think he knows what he wants now. Take things slow. He could be afraid of commitment too... so he keeps breaking up with you when he gets afraid.

    • I don't think he is afraid of commitment. I know him for a long time, and when we started to date he just ended a relationship. He wanted to go back with me in the end of the last month, and i think it's so weird that he completely changed his mind. I guess i did a mistake of sleeping in his house. I felt so weird when i leave because he hugged me, kissed me on me cheek and said that he had a "good day" with me. I felt so bad when he did it that he noticed and made a joke that i "didn't like the day". There is another thing, when we did come back the last time, he posted a photo of us, but hinded for his ex and her mother doesn't see it. He says bad things about her, that she is always talking with him and has a "bad vibe"... The last time i saw her initiating a conversation on fb, he said that he was with me at the moment. I know that maybe wasn't nice for her to read that, but i guess that he changed because of her, and maybe still likes her (because of the hidden picture on fb...)

    • (And she is the first now on the fb chat - that indicates that they had been talk a lot.) i have no idea of what should i do... :(

    • Talk to him, and if you don't like his answer, break up... :'(

  • Sounds like too much drama... whether you're the problem or he is or its a bit of both, it sounds to me like you're not a particularly good fit..

    • I don't know, only time will tell. we are much alike and that includes being stubborn lol

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