He was flirting with other girls behind my back and as far as I know he wanted to break up with me,
sleep with other women and then get back together with me.
I'm told that he got furious when I didn't go back to him. (we were together for 9 years)
And now I don't talk to him, he is manipulative and knows how to throw me around emotionally.
He was emotionally abusive and I didn't realize that until 6 months after we broke up, and I'm still realizing that actually.
I am over him, I don't want him back, I don't want him in my life in any way.
But... now I don't trust men, I don't want to be in a relationship because this might happen again.
But I also get lonely and I wish I had someone who would love me for who I am etc..
And yet, just the thought of it terrifies me, because this might happen again.
how do I get over this? How do I forgive the past? How do I let go?
Any tips would be great :/
Most Helpful Guy
Here's one of many videos on being happy and letting go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuvr-0gWZwQ
If you want more just click his channel and you'll find A LOT on the topic. Basically, to let go of the feelings you're experiencing, just fully surrender to that feeling and observe it without judging it. Let that feeling be and focus on it fully. And just let it run it's course, it may disappear in a few seconds, it may take a few minutes but the fear you're experiencing will be gone eventually
Also, don't be too hard on yourself, everyone makes mistakes. Learn from them.