Break up now or wait until after holiday?

I'll try and keep this short. I'm 25, he's 28, been with the boyfriend over 1.5 years now, its been rocky. He went on a stag do last night, it was all fine until i said to him casually "give me a call when you get back to your room".. he called me outside the hotel having a fag.. but what I found weird was that he refused to stay on the phone to me when he went back to his room (despite apparently sharing with his passed out mate). This started a massive argument because the more he refused to call me from his bed, the more I thought he was hiding something.

The thing I need advice with is this.. in the middle of September I start at university 2 hours away from home (for 3 years), and at the end of September he's going on a 6 day lads holiday to party it up. I don't want to continue the relationship when September comes - I love the guy to bits but I clearly don't trust him enough (hence last night) and me being at Uni and his lads holiday would sent me into an early grave!!!
However... we have a holiday booked in 5 days (non refundable).. do I warn him before we go on holiday that I don't want to continue the relationship after we come back, or tell him after the holiday?
Thanks guys x
Update: turns out he wasn't all that honest about last night, which explains why he told me the taxi drive back to the room was 30 minutes when it was 10 mins tops, and why he refused to stay on the phone when he was in bed.. advice needed guys, I don't want to waste £600/700 on a holiday, but I don't know if I can spend ten days with this guy after he's lied to me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you think you will be able to babe fun on that holiday?

    Normally, I am against keeping a sinking ship afloat, but canceling a non refundable holiday ducks big time for the both you. If you do warn him beforehand, the holiday will likely be very awkward.

    Back to the question, do you think you will have fun? If so, then just going the vacation. Try to relax a bit, if at all possible, and enjoy it. Remember that you'll have to break up sometime after the vacation, do not delay that.

    If you find yourself getting rather stressed out by that question, in the sense that you have no idea or you are sure you won't, you have to do something about it. Either you break up now or you do tell him about your doubts. Depending on what type of guy he is, he may start to do his best to improve (though that does not sound likely).
    This is clearly a difficult situation. If you have any more questions, ask right ahead!

    Good luck!


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What Guys Said 3

  • I think it would be best to get it out in the open beforehand and let him know why you've made that decision. I think it could be awkward for you having to go on holiday with him if he still thinks you're all good and you've got intentions of breaking up with him after. Let him know beforehand and maybe you could work things out or just go on holiday as friends.

  • the sooner the better

    • What, break up now and count my losses kinda thing?

    • count you pro and cons
      if he's more trouble than anything, move on

  • I'd say wait until holidays


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