How am I supposed to get past him sleeping with someone I know?

My fiance and I we're together for a couple years and lived together for 1. We broke up 6 months ago due to conflicts In opinions. We we're still madly in love so it didn't last long. We got back together within 2 months to try again. 4 months later I ended things again because the same issues reappeared. The love was still there but not the compromise. We were both hurt. We were "completely" done for about 2 weeks and ran into each other. One thing led to another and after about a week of us spending pretty much every day together things were going great! That was until one night after an amazing day spent with my kids and a night just the two of us, after having a few drinks and sitting in the drive through outta no where he tells me during that 2 weeks apart he slept with someone else, someone I know and it was for a couple days. . He said he told me out of respect, didn't want any secrets and it was a mistake and felt wrong, I'm the only one he wants, still loves me blah blah.. I completely lost it, it hurt so bad. He apologized but kept saying he did nothing wrong, we weren't together, he didn't know we would get back together. I'm not mad at him sleeping with someone when we weren't together, I'm mad that he didn't tell me before he slept with me again and the fact that I knew the person (a regular we hung out with at a bar occasionally ) threw me completely over the edge. He's begging that we work through it. I still love him, part of me always will but I don't know that I can.. How does somebody work past that? Is it even possible?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You are going to have to forgive him in order to move on from that. But it will be very hard to forget what he has done. Technically he was wrong and right for what he did. He was wrong because it was a good chance you guys would get back together. Statistics show this. And he was right because technically you both were not together. But it's an easy cop out excuse. I think maybe with time you can forgive him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know it hurts, but I admire his honesty in the situation.
    Imagine, if he didn't tell you and you had to find out through that person.
    I think he is a respectable man who cares for you.
    As long as he's human he will make mistakes, I don't even think he enjoyed the experience because his heart is with you.
    If you find you're unable to get over this, then this is ultimately the end of your relationship.
    From this point, you have to decide to be okay with it and never bring it up again.
    If you continue to do so, you'll destroy your relationship.
    You have the choice to your future with him...


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What Guys Said 1

  • I can for sure understand where you are coming from, the timing issue.

    For one, he is not for you.

    When it was evident that you two were going all the way, it was his obligation to tell you and yours to tell him if the same was true. That is just being a respectable partner.

    Seems to me that his getting back into your saddle was more important to him than being honest. Just my opinion.


What Girls Said 1

  • You can't get past it if you stay with him, because once the trust is broken... it's severed for always with the person who betrayed your trust. You'll only get past it if you walk away and learn to move on from him. He's shown his true potential


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