My boyfriend has a second choice?!

There is this girl named Annie. My boyfriend has known her for a few years prior to meeting me. They were friends but nothing more. When he & I started dating, she confessed her love to him. Or that "she likes him" hoping he would leave me for her. He told her that he was flattered, but that he really really liked me. He told me that by choice, I never knew about this or asked him about this. This was about 3 months ago. Now, we've been dating for a good time. He loves me because he tells me that everyday. We have the most amazing time together and we're truly in love. BUT. This girl is back for spring break from school. After her confession, they basically stopped speaking to each other. I have never met her but she added me on Facebook TWICE. I didn't add her back? Why? Because I've never met her and I'm not interested in being friends with her. She obviously just wants to snoop around my page. Anyway, recently she wrote on my bfs wall asking WHY they haven't hung out/seen each other in so long. She wrote on mutual friends walls saying almost the same thing, but I can tell she did that to cover up saying this on my bf's wall. Yesterday, he told me that he messaged her back with an initial friendship message. Saying that he doesn't want to lose their friendship, and that they should hang out soon. I asked if he was going to see her alone and he said no, in a group, since that might be awkward. He says that I'm "more amazing" than her and he doesn't want anyone else but me but that upsets me because he basically is saying she is his second choice. He said when I came along, he was no longer interested in her, or at least, he liked me MORE. But that doesn't mean he didn't stop liking her? Anyway, she has a boyfriend now, but I can tell that its some weird desperation thing since she put up a profile pic of her making out with him. Weird. SO, she's trying to get back into a friendship with my bf, but I still think she wants him. He says I'm his dream girl/the perfect girl. But I have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach because today, I looked at his Facebook messages and noticed something he did not mention to me before. He started the message with, "I miss you a lot." Doesn't that sort of lead her on? If I was in her position I would assume I still had a chance. What do you guys think? I love him but I'm starting to let this jealousy slowly depress me. I don't want to ruin our relationship because of this. IS there any way I can end this? Or deal with it? I told him that I'm not interested in being friends with her and he told me that he liked my honesty and non-fakeness. He said he understood. But if he knows I'm uncomfortable with their friendship why is he letting it happen?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is so easy for someone to fall in love with two different people. Please give him credit for the way he has carried himself thus far. He hasn't cheated on you. (I assume) And he has he clearly stated that he chose you, not her. Please don't insecurity ruin what you two have. Unless he makes clear signs to get back together with her, you two are set.

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    • He's not IN LOVE with her. He's only told me he loved me & he's never said that to anyone else. We're both new to this. I just don't want it to go downhill if he continues this friendship with a girl he USED to like. . .

    • I still say you let it pan out. Having a girlfriend that doesn't trust you will surely not keep him around. And if he doesn't love her, why are you worrying. Men can "like" a lot of women lol.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You should break up with him for his sake because you're batsh*t crazy.

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    • What the hell kind of comment is this? How about you get a f***ing life and not be such an asshole online. And try saying something productive you idiot.

What Girls Said 1

  • Don't ruin what you guys have because of this other girl. Then she will get what she wants and you and your boyfriend will both end up unhappy. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to be doing anything wrong here but keeping a friend. But I can assure you that if you blow this out of proportion, you will end up alone, and he will have a girl on the side. If you take it in stride, and show that you're more mature, your boyfriend might respect you more, and this girl will lose any dignity she has, which at this point she has none.

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