How to move on?

I've been left by my very first boyfriend few days ago after one year. It was a very bad breakup, it was through the phone as we live in different countries and he has blocked me on every social network (for the second time, the first one was in October and he came back in February). What should I do to stop crying? lol
I'm not interested in getting drunk, dating new guys etc.


Most Helpful Guy

  • In my last breakup, the following worked for me; it could work for you too.

    # Step 1
    The first thing I do is accepting I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light.

    # Step 2
    I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.

    # Step 3
    I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting to win her back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.

    # Step 4
    I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.

    # Step 5
    I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.

    # Step 6
    While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.

    # Step 7
    I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.


Most Helpful Girl

  • cry it all out first.
    nothing bad about that, it will just make you stronger.
    improve yourself, do things you like, entertain yourself
    spend some time with yourself, I know it sounds weird to many people, but talking to yourself is not a crazy-people-party for one is something we all need , that's how we getting to know ourselves, our needs, what we really want etc etc
    spend some time with family and friends.

    (you don't need to get drunk nor date anyone yet.)
    after some time, you will feel better. you will get over it, you will move on and be happy again without him.


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What Guys Said 13

  • I'm sorry to hear that hun!!
    Honestly you do need time to grieve of course. Your life will be different. You have this massive void in your life that he used to be. I guess first accepted that. I know you can move on. We've all have done it. I certainly have.

    Missing him will happen. A song will come on and you'll just be like fuckkkkkkkkkkk why did that song have to play. That was her and I. Well him and I for you lol.

    Honestly no contact helps and I definitely encourage that. Him blocking you will help. I know it sounds stupid. But day out and day in you won't have that constant reminder in your head if you were to talk to him. This way you can move on quicker then still talking to him you woukd have that constant reminder of ugh I wanna be with you but you don't wanna be with me. That sucks and best to avoid.

    Each day it will get better. Take it one day at a time. Keep yourself busy. Go to movies with friends. Hang with them. Play sports or something. Dont sit inside and mob around all day cuz thats not good. Its ok to grieve but it has to stop at some point.

    Also feel free to message me. It would nice to catch up plus I'm always willing to talk and help you 😊

  • Stay positive watch some comadies (no romantic ones though) hang out with friends etc this will help full the time and good of the relationship which will help prevent you from hyper focusing on the break up. Kind of like eating bread when you drink it doesn't make it go away it just dilutes it until you can cope with it. Do not jump into another relationship (that's you using a guy which is wrong so don't listen to anybody who says that).

  • So it finally happened 😶?
    He didn't came to meet you 😶?
    Steps you should do :-
    1) cry and cry if you feel sad and upset not bc he left you but bc you wasted an year with him 😂 LOL
    2) take a break
    3) just chillllll and have fun
    4) ask me out
    5) don't forget to wear that red lipstick cause I want a lipstick mark on my cheeks 😂😂😂 LOL
    Now you can say thanks to me :P

  • Work on yourself. Hobbies, school, friends, spend some time alone. For first week or 2 just cry your heart out. 3rd week and later keep yourself busy and don't think about it. You will find so much better you won't even know why you were with this guy in the beggining :)

  • realize that there are a lot of fish in the sea. there are so many fish in the sea that you like that you never date them all till you're dead there are so many.
    and finally (that) there's always someone better

    • the next better guy will make you forget the last guy and then youl find another guy and hell make you forget that last guy till you have a line of people youve forgotten you couldnt care less since you have an endless stream... a really bad analogy would be an endless buffet.. thats pretty much the truth.

  • As I am sure others have said you got to stay positive, I know it is easier said than done, but do things to get your mind off of it like watch a comedy or hang out with friends. And I hope things go okay.

  • Your happiness comes from inside, not outside, so dont look for it outside :)

  • If having a conversation helps!.. I can be there for you!.. Although I have a tight schedule!..
    Kik me - nickpat
    If I can be of assistance

  • Have you met him in real life? Cause otherwise I'll say you're way too invested in someone you've never met

    • Yes, we have spent two weeks together in the same apartment basically

    • Show All
    • Well it's not only about an overrated relationship, I've lost a very important person and I won't be able to talk to him anymore

    • No one is indispensable... once you realize this important fact of life, everything else will come off as easy.

  • Don't date with new guys, have sex with new guys


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What Girls Said 4

  • Try to immerse yourself in some hobbies that will help take your mind off him. Hang out with friends and family, just take time for yourself. Best revenge is moving on w/ your life and showing you don't need him :)

  • Go out, find new places, explore, find a job, a hobby, start a blog, got to meetups, meet people! Simply think of ANYTHING that can distract you. I know its easier said than done BUT its possible

  • just give it time

  • Sorry to hear that. Breakups are so painful. You only move on when the pain starts to heal. It takes time to get used to someone not being part of your daily life anymore. After a breakup , you go through a similar grieving process as some who's loved one has died.

    It's a case of getting through it , not over it. Go along with you emotions. Cry , if you need to. Tears are necessary , because they express how we feel when we just can't find the words to speak.

    The only way to heal from the pain is to remove any traces of the person from your life. Don't sit reminiscing about what used to be , or dwell on what could've been. You need to keep your mind focused on things other than him. Try something new, motivate yourself to do things.

    Time doesn't heal pain, it's what you do with your time that heals it. Eventually your memories will fade and pain will ease , but for now you have to just be patient with yourself , and believe you are strong enough to get through this. Hearts do heal, and they do love again


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