I've been left by my very first boyfriend few days ago after one year. It was a very bad breakup, it was through the phone as we live in different countries and he has blocked me on every social network (for the second time, the first one was in October and he came back in February). What should I do to stop crying? lol
I'm not interested in getting drunk, dating new guys etc.
Most Helpful Guy
In my last breakup, the following worked for me; it could work for you too.
# Step 1
The first thing I do is accepting I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light.
# Step 2
I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.
# Step 3
I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting to win her back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.
# Step 4
I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.
# Step 5
I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.
# Step 6
While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.
# Step 7
I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.1
Most Helpful Girl
cry it all out first.
nothing bad about that, it will just make you stronger.
improve yourself, do things you like, entertain yourself
spend some time with yourself, I know it sounds weird to many people, but talking to yourself is not a crazy-people-party for one is something we all need , that's how we getting to know ourselves, our needs, what we really want etc etc
spend some time with family and friends.
(you don't need to get drunk nor date anyone yet.)
after some time, you will feel better. you will get over it, you will move on and be happy again without him.