If I give this girl some space will she come around again?

Me and this girl sometimes go through these break ups, (just friends, never dated) where she would usually get annoyed at me for something that I said that was unintentionally hurtful. One occasion she said along the lines of "im ok with how things have become, not talking everyday n stuff because you frustrate me", then I'll say "u dont care about talking anymore?" and she'l reply "what are your thoughts on that?". Why ask what my thoughts are on it if she doesn't wanna continue to talk. Anyway, again a few months later, another fight, she was like "i dont know if things should return to the way they were", so i say "ok, its your choice, if you really want this?" and she says "you disagree?" but I always agree and let her have her moment.

Usually these things blow over and she starts talking again shortly afterwards a week or 2 later

More recently however, I told her I can't stay friends with her cuz i was starting to like her and i needed to move on, find someone else who would like me, and she basically blew up, tried desperately to keep the friendship together and was clearly getting upset. She closed with "take whatever time you need, i expect an invitation to the wedding'. So I thought of us on good terms, but I've since then tried to rekindle, and her response was along the lines of "what the fuck do you want? Im miserable, give me space.' She didn't give me any details of why she's miserable and only asked for time to think.

Gave her another 2 weeks, after which we spoke a bit, then I asked 'are we cool?' and she said "im fine with how things are, are you?" I said its fine if she wants to stop talking (again), she said 'i dont think it can go back to how it was'.

Do you think this friendship is salvageable? Im hoping this is just another repeat of the last times, but I am worried this time. Part of me is telling me she must have feelings but is only holding back because maybe i dont meet her expectations? I dont understand why she acts this way with me.


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What Girls Said 1

  • This sounds dysfunctional. I would keep my emotional distance from her. Still be polite and stuff but don't get sucked into it too much. And definitely pursue romantic relationships with other women.


What Guys Said 1

  • It's possible you're expecting too much from her, since you have feelings for her.

    If you really want her to be a friend, keep your feelings to yourself and try to remember how you acted when you first became friends.


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