I was the cause of our breakup, is it possible that we'd get together?

Basically I was in a long distance relationship for almost 2 months. We haven't met yet but we will start going to school together in about 2 weeks. When we first started dating everything was perfect as it should be. Sadly I was confused , didn't really know if I wanted to be in a relationship and had doubts. He's a really good guy. He was trying to be the best person he could for me. We had a good thing going. We'd talk on the phone almost every night. We had so much in common. Interest. Our personality, etc. it was crazy. We both felt like the other was perfect. We both thought we'd last for a long time. I ruined it. We argued too much for dumb reasons and I was mainly the one causing them out of insecurity or I just knew I was right when I really wasn't. He told me over and over that the one thing he just wanted me to change was my attitude but it'd only last for about 5 seconds. I'd argue, he'd apologize and reassure me. We got into another argument about his bestfriend who he never gave me a legitimate reason to worry about or think something else was going on. He broke up with me and said he didn't know how he felt but offered to be friends and if we got back to that point we did, no guarantee that it'll happen. I was hurt and kind of surprised so I said no. I changed my mind about 2 times since because sometimes I felt like if he cared like he said he did, he wouldn't have left. That was before I realized I was treating him like shit. I'm working on myself because he was the best thing to ever happen to me so far. A big part of me feels like it's possible for us to get back together and that I'm just going to have to really change, get over my personal problems and remember to treat him as he should be. I feel like everybody has been through something like this at one point or another and any opinions would be appreciated


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What Guys Said 2

  • I've always liked the saying. (A relic cigarette never tastes the same, and that's all I'll preach about rekindling an old flame)

  • Nope this is going nowhere


What Girls Said 1

  • I think you have to take some time to yourself and really think and decide what it is exactly you want.
    Sure you two may get along great over the phone, and through online messaging, but when you get to meet up in person, things could be different. Personal interactions aren't always the same as online ones. However, it sounds like you are insecure about more than the relationship. Maybe this break is a good thing for you for now, as it could help you figure out what you really want.

    from the sounds of it, he's a reasonable, understanding guy who cares about you. But again, you never know what someone is really like until you get to know them in person.
    Maybe try being friends, or just let things cool between you two for a while. Give it a week or two and think heavily. Do you want him as your bf? Do you want to be in a relationship right now? What's bothering you and making you feel those insecurities? Are you prepared to keep that effort and give effort to your school / social life/ work too?
    I'm sure he will understand, and listen to you about this. If you're really bothered try talking with him about why you are so insecure. He has reassured you in the past, your insecurities may be something within yourself that you need to solve before you can fully open yourself to be committed to this individual.

    Best of luck!


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