Should I take my ex off of child support?

This is long so please only read if you can truly answer. My ex and I split almost a yr ago. Basically we have been on and off and I just got tired of it. He could never hold a job and has probably gone through about 5 jobs in the past yr. He has a Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering, but would rather work temp jobs. When we separated last yr. and he seen that I was not going to relocate to be with him, he immediately hooked on to someone else. He claimed that he wanted another baby, but I told him unless he was stable I was not going that route. So he basically moved on, starting seeing some woman and married her in 5 months time. The thing is that he hid this practically forever until it all came out in he court house last week.

The court order we had before was literally 50/50 one wk on one wk off. During the periods when my son was away, my ex refused to even let me talk to him and would not even discuss schools with me. So I took him back to court and have a more standard possesory schedule with child support. The judge saw through his lies and accusations. So after a yr of ignoring me after we meet up, he actually brings his wife. (I spent a year not being able to communicate with my then 4 yr old, because of my ex's anger).

So during our exchange (past the court order) he brought her along and she looked pissed. He begged me to remove child support saying that he has only been working a temp job and his wife is a temp. The thing is that these are 2 grown able body adults. I talked to him about my expectations of him for his son and while he was talking his wife honked the horn, yet he kept talking. I told him he'd better go bc she was impatient. I went over introduced my self to her and she looked at me like I she had an issue with me. Keep in mind, he hid her for well over a year.

What is your opinion on this matter. When we were in court and the judge read the ruling, my ex got upset ran out the court room and started screaming and calling me the b-word and beating his head against the wall. The baliff had to escort me back to the car.

I also wanted to say during this time he has not supported our son. I have paid all child care expenses and at one point had him on my insurance. His father has done everything possible to make my life a living h*ll. He even went as far as to go to my son's doctor to try to lie and say that people smoked around him and to test his lungs. The dr. told him you should ask his mom about that before coming to me, and my ex lied and said I refused to talk to him


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you can support your own child, then remove your ex from child support. As long as he can take care of the child on his side then that's all that matters.

    If your child does not appear to be taken care of when he/she is with their father and you have to take your child because of his lack of being a father, I would then add on the child support because you are doing more than your 50% share.

    Child support is not suppose to be a tool to hurt someone with. It is suppose to support the cost of living for raising a child. If both of you can afford to provide for the child and it is a 50/50 split then you each support the child separately.

    • Well it was a 50/50 but I was doing all the work. Although his father would get him for a week, I still had to pay daycare cost while my ex's mom would watch my son for him. My son would come back to me in a week with the same clothing he left with. I am not trying to hurt him, but he is trying to use my son as a means to control me. He would not honor the court orders and will not get a decent job. Every where he goes there is always a problem. When we were together he worked stabley for about 2 years, but after he lost that job it was Mcdonalds, Pizza Hut, Dominos, Walmart, Burger King and now just temp work/day laborer jobs.

    • If he is turning into a deadbeat and you are flipping more of the cost than he is, then keep the child support going.

      The 50/50 thing is not meant to just cover the time spent it is to cover the cost of living expenses for the child. If he is not living up to his end of the bargain, then keep the child support coming in.

      Perhaps that will force him to start applying for a job that uses his degree.

Most Helpful Girl

  • U should keep him paying child support.. maybe that will help him grow up... he sounds like a loser...

    • I feel sorry for him, but at the same time he has a degree and potential to do better.

    • U feel sorry for him?
      U shouldn't... he's doing what he's doing by choice...

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Make him pay for his kid. You can't just ignore the fact you have a kid.
    The money is not for him or you or his wife, it's for the child's benefit. That's why the judge ruled it in the first place.
    If he's an electrical engineer he can get a good job. He has no excuses. It's not like he's the usual uneducated trailer trash.

  • Whatever you do, don't let him off the hook.


What Girls Said 1

  • agree if he signs over full custody not before.

    • This. Normally I would say it takes two to make a child and he should pay, but considering how he is behaving and how his new girlfriend is definitely adding fuel to the fire its probably the best for your peace if Asker just gets him out of her life.

    • @FakeName123 true but she has to make sure she is not bew manipulated into an unfavourable situation.

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