Father of my son refuses to cooperate. Should I just stop trying?

I want the opinion of both men and women on this. I have a one year old son and his father and I are broken up because he was physically abusive and he developed a drug and alcohol problem. I tried to allow him to visit our son at my home but only if his mother is with him so it is supervised because he refuses to pay the $50 to visit at the hope house. At first he agreed but then stood up our son 3 times to go and party. He tried to get me to take him back just on the 18th through Facebook messages and I refused his offer. There is a restraining order but the court made special arrangements where we can have contact only regarding visitation with our son. I don't get it he then messages me last night and pretty much calls me a terrible parent because I won't take him back and because I refuse to uplift the restraining order. He uses it as an excuse to avoid being there for his son even with the court making special exceptions where he is aloud contact only regarding our son and he is still aloud to come and visit him. He's not aloud to threaten or harass me that's when it's considered a violation of a order of protection. Do you guys and girls think this is right for him to do? He then threatened to try to take custody of my son from me when he is unstable, he has no income, he lives in his mothers basement, he uses drugs and alcohol on the regular and constant basis and he's never even bought his son a pack of diapers. I tried to do the right thing by not taking his son away from him that's why I had made special arrangements with the court but he doesn't even accept that. I know a lot of women that would have took his son away for much less. Should I just give up? I'm sick of telling my one year old his father is coming and nobody shows. I feel like I'm hurting my son by doing so. What should I do? Should I just wash my hands of this madness and walk away with my child or should I continue to try to get him to be there for my son?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you've done a lot considering the circumstances. And even though every child needs both of their parents, he sounds like he doesn't care enough because he chooses to continue drinking and doing drugs. The paranoid part of me would worry that he's trying to get you to have unsupervised visits so he could harm one or both of you. I was taught that a real parent does whatever they can to be with or see their child, it doesn't seem like he's trying.

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    • Thank you miss, stay safe and don't doubt you are doing what's best for you and your son

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What Guys Said 2

  • There is only so much you can do... I think you need to tell the father that you plan on obtaining full custody with no visitation as it is effecting you and your son.

    If he does not smart'n up then cancel the visitation and move somewhere away from him.

    You need to start thinking about you and a good life for your son.

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  • With kids, you never muck around

    You give your ex one last chance to step up and be a man or you wipe him

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