How can some guys be so heartless like this? How could he move on so fast? Why did he lead me on?

So a guy I started dating asked me to be his girlfriend. He said he loved me and that it was love at first sight. He said he wanted to meet my parents and be committed, exclusive, and try long distance when I go back to school. He invited me with his friends and coworkers and introduced me as his girlfriend. He constantly reassured me that he wanted something serious. However, he started making excuses as to why he couldn't see me or call me. I often texted him asking what was wrong, if I had done anything wrong. All he said was no, I am just busy. On his days off sometimes he wouldn't be able to see me because he was "busy all day". Yet, he'd call me and tell me passionately that he loved me, that I was breathtakingly beautiful. I was constantly emotional, given I have NEVER liked a guy at first sight as much as I liked him. When he said it was love at first sight, I thought he felt the same. I found myself constantly asking him where he was and why he could t contact me. Until one day, when he stood me up and I got upset, he broke up with me, saying he couldn't handle my clinginess. I didn't talk to him for a week, and then I texted him apologizing for my clinginess and then he said he missed me and stopped texting. I called him kinda mad the next day, saying why would you lead me on? You say you love me but you clearly don't. And he said I'm nineteen I am not going to prioritize a relationship over other things and that he couldn't handle me yelling at him any more. He said we're not together anymore you shouldn't be yelling at me or caring this much. I said a week ago you said you loved me, and he's like so what it's over I'm moving on. And I was like why did you say you missed me? And he said I do miss you but I have no intentions of dating or seeing you again. He said, you're more in to this than me at this point because I already broke it off. I so felt like this guy led me on, he said he wanted a relationship and now he's saying why prioritize one?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Perhaps he dislike something inside you, or afraid to do something more...
    It's not an easier to understand a guy, but when you look into the eyes of that person, you can understand what he is thinking.

    • He said "I've seen the way you yell at me and drunk text me, I know that's never gonna stop"
      Which I guess is fair. But if he had actually not blown me off and stuff like that, I wouldn't have been that way

    • He is trying to be manipulative and show that he is over you, but if he was he was not going to answer and stuff like that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Seems like we dated the same guy, I've been through something very similar and it hurts like heck. The guy and I met, fell for each other, spent a month together and he decided we should continue long distance. After he left the texts and the sweet talk diminished, he reassured me that he cared, but I didn't feel it (I have experienced this before and that relationship fell apart). Come to find out, after pressure from me, he was confused about his feelings for me and he was scared. Now we are "friends w/potential". I feel for you, that kind of rejection is very hurtful. We have to know that people like don't have any balls to be honest and are pretty selfish. We both need to be glad this happened in the beginning, not further along.

    • Yeah, seems like he overcommitted and then realized he maybe didn't like me enough or want what he said he wanted... You're right, the worst part is the lying. But at least now he told me the truth: he wants nothing to do with me

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What Guys Said 2

  • It would be interesting to hear his point of view on this. He said you were clingy and you yelled at him too much.

    • Yeah. I was but it was when he started distancing himself

  • Probably because you did something so bad, he wants nothing to do with you.

    • I didn't do anything bad. All I did was text him a lot asking where he was and stuff whenever he was blowing me off. which really seemed to piss him off... but he was treating me badly

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    • So when a dude treats me like that what should I do instead? I just want a guy's point of view
      Because I wouldn't wanna just let him blow me off or not make me a priority

    • Talk rationally. Yelling scares guys off

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It seems this guy is only interested in what he wants and feels and not you... he could be a narcissist or sociopath. You had a lucky escape as he seems unworthy of you and you could have ended up in a much bigger mess eg pregnant. Maybe message him goodbye telling him how you feel and how he hurt you then keep busy meet other guys who treat you better.

    You'll be OK and it's ok to cry if you need it to heal.


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