I've been texting this guy for awhile now & I knew 100% that he cared& liked me a lot. He showed it& proved it. We talked 24/7. one day I went to go see him at a mall for the first time for 30 min. We had a nice time& he said later that he didn't hold my hand because he didn't know if I'd like it & didn't wanna come off too strong. But he did pull me into his lap & kiss me lol. I had to pull away After a few seconds because he surprised me, I grabbed his hand afterward so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. Afterwards, he texted me saying he had fun& to text him when I was done shopping. For some reason, I thought I screwed something up but he kept reassuring me that everything was fine& that he wanted to hang out again. He even asked why I didn't stop by to see him after I was done shopping. I still had anxiety over the whole thing because something just felt off, so the next day I told him that I didn't feel good & that I would talk to him later. He immediately asked"what's wrong?"but I didn't get back to him til later. I said that I just had some anxiety, but I was too scared to tell him that it was about him. After that, he told me he was at work &super stressed. I asked if I was part of the reason and he said no he just needs to think about what he wants. I asked if it was about me & he said "no just in general". he ended up telling me that he was super thankful for me. So I said the same. right after he sent me a paragraph saying how he was Scared to get hurt again (his ex cheated on him and it really messed him up).& that he wasn't emotionally/mentally ready to give 100% & that it wouldn't be fair if I did and he didn't. I said that we weren't even dating & that he's thinking too far ahead. Which he responded with "I guess one of us cared more than the other". I tried to reassure him that I care about him so much&that I'm scared too. He said that I'm the only girl he cares about, that he would do anything for me, the only girl he talks to,& he's torn, etc.
I forgot to say that I told him that I "didn't want to talk to someone that didn't wanna talk to me", and he responded with "who said I didn't wanna talk to you?" In the end, he asked if I was mad and I said "no, just disappointed" and he responded with a sad emoji and that's that.
When I say I know he actually had feelings for me, it's because he told me he wanted to talk to me 24/7, always wanted to listen when I was feeling down, usually texted first, always gave me advice, got jealous of other guys that gave me attention, made efforts to come see me, talked about me in his future, etc