Broke up with my boyfriend 10 days ago, no contact since! I really want him back!! What to do?

I'm sorry if this is too long, I'll try and keep it short. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7 months. We got on so so well! We had been friends before we started seeing each other and we had a real connection. Things started to get a bit rocky over the last month or so and to be honest we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. We were still in contact and would talk on the phone but we really weren't seeing much of each other. He is scared of relationships but he always said how happy I made him and that he would commit someday but wanted to take it slow. I held on for a while hoping that maybe things would change and it was pretty upsetting. My family hating seeing my cry and so miserable so they messaged him on Facebook telling me to leave me alone. He told me it would be best if he walked away and it was good between us while it lasted. He then blocked me :(
My cousin was quite rude to him to be honest and my mum told him to block me. He text me on whatsapp saying he treated me really badly and I'll realise that Then it'll be time to talk if I still want to. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook at this point and he said he was so sorry, he wishes he could make it up to me and if there was anything he could do she was to let him know. My mum told him if he could make me happy then she wouldn't stand in his way. He told her how much he cared about me and that he would have a serious think about it. He said he can't deny how well we get on and it would make my mum smile if she saw it, which is true. He Kept saying how much he cared about me and he wants to make it right.

Do do you think we have a chance at all? I really really want to give us another go!!
I told him before we started no contact that I still wanted to friends and he said he would like that too. Also, he would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time. He doesn't want to particularly stop speaking to me for a while but he says it's the right thing to do. He told my mum "as far as she's concerned, we're not speaking at the minute" which I took to mean he hasn't fallen out with me completely.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First your family interfering in all this most likely isn't helping and maybe doing the opposite effect of repelling him further. They're increasing pressure on him, increasing the drama, and making the whole relationship seem heavy.

    Heavy is not what you want post-breakup and especially in this situation with a guy who was reluctant to commit. It's the precise opposite of what you want.

    You generally want to go for light, easy-going, friendly, attractive. You cannot reason with an ex to come back to you. Reason is not what makes them miss you. You generally cannot bring back an ex by merely saying you care so much about them. That doesn't necessarily make them miss you and it can even have the opposite effect where, if they don't feel exactly the same way at the moment, they might feel like they need to stay away from you to let you move on.

    Don't scare off your guy. If anything, you want to be more inviting than ever before, easier to see, easier to have fun with. At least you're the one who called it off which makes the odds of getting back together a little better than usual when you want him back, but reduce the drama, reduce the heaviness, reduce the pressure, and try to give some time for things to settle. Maybe you can send him a very friendly invite at some point asking to hang out. If you do, and you manage to get to the bedroom, try to make it a passionate night he'll remember.

    • I did not want my family involved at all!! I was so so angry at them. I didn't actually call it off, he told me that he was treating me so badly that it was beat he left me alone. He said it was good while it lasted. I didn't actually have any say in it at all. He told me that he will maybe talk to me in a few weeks. It's so so hard to not miss him. I don't even have a clue what to say to him when I do talk to him. I'm scared he's going to find someone else.

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    • Hope it works out -- but remember to be easy-going, friendly -- maybe also same advice for the before. If you got a guy with commitment phobia, the goal is to make him think you're more special than any other girl he's ever been with. That's going to kind of seem unfair on your part -- but it's the way to make him realize you're a keeper, when he enjoys his time with you more than anyone else.

    • Thankyou so much for your help!! :) he did tell me that I make him so happy and he had never been more comfortable with any girl before. Even ones he used to be with so I'm hoping that it will make a difference and he will miss that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I can really relate to you post at this point in time, and I get where you're comin from. Personally, I think he should really prove himself, and show that things will be different before you take him back. I'm sure you miss him, but if you cave in and take him back before he makes a change, you're gauranteed to be dealing with the same thing that hurt you in the first place. Seeing eachother once a month is not a relationship, it's an arrangement; one that im sure you didn't sign up for. If things will be different, then sure, give it a shot.

    • I know things definitely have to change. The thing is, we were in a relationship officially and he even told me he loved me. Panic then set in with him and we took a step back. Too far thought in my opinion. I'm going to wait until next week at least before I say anything but I'm so terrified he's going to move on :(

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    • Sorry for the late response lol. If he really cares for you, then no he won't. They were coming from a genuine place, it just wasn't the right move. Maybe you guys should talk about that, and tell him how you feel and where you're coming from.

    • I do know they wanted what was best but it meant all control was taken from my hands. He did say that they done the right thing pointing out what he'd done.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Your whole family messaging him on fucking FB... lol I would probably just block every single one of you. If he's meeting up with you once or twice a month for sex and you can't handle that (which definitely isn't something you should have to deal with unless you're FWB) then you made the right call. Expecting people to miraculously change who they are is generally a very, very bad idea. You can try if you want, just don't expect much.

    • I didn't really get a chance to make any call. My family took that completely out of my hands unfortunately. I was absolutely fuming with them. He told me not to be, that they done the right thing. I was happy with the arrangement, I was just glad he was part of my life to be honest but my family thought I deserved better.

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    • Yeah I guess I don't know, usually I'm that bored within a week if our convos aren't good lol.

    • Our conversations were always great and we would talk for maybe 4 hours on the phone. When we were together, we got on so so well. This is why I don't want to lose him at all.

  • Sounds like a load of aggro for him, but there's a chance, he'll come back if he has no other options.

    • It was a lot of aggro that I really didn't want him to have to deal with. I'm hoping in time, he will miss me.

What Girls Said 1

  • Dont let your family intervene. they don't need to fight your battles for you or make decisions for you or your boyfriend.
    if you feel like you deserve better then stay away, if you feel like you want to try, go ahead. only you can make this decision. no one else!

    • I was so so upset for them getting involved! I really want him to be part of my life and I honestly feel he is worth fighting for!

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    • best is to talk to him. I am in same boat but I don't even think there is a chance for us. So I am just trying to forget.

    • I am going to leave it until next week. Then it's been a fortnight. I just want to know either way. I hope it works out for you!

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