Did a breakup ever affected you so much that you feel like you've changed drastically as an individual?

Following my first breakup, I feel like I lost a big part of myself - and it's something my family noticed too. I feel like my views aren't the same and I no longer have the same views about love and relationships. I mean I used to get all giddy from all the romantic gestures portrayed in dramas/movies. Now all that is long gone...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • sorry for what happened to you.
    I'm sure it happened to the most of people and we all went through the same experience (I'm also one of those people). I'm not an angel, but I discovered that life gave me a hard lesson from closest person to me... which made me look at my life with realistic.

    I started to look beyond what I see... then I discovered that the pain didn't kill me.. it just taught me how to live my life and made me wiser and more patient (positive)... then I realized that I can't add more days to my age, but I'm sure I can add more life to my days

    I realized kicking some people's out of my life might be a good for me... not cuz I can't have them... but their presence in my life is holding me back... so I thanked god for making my ex leaving my life... now I've became a superman and I'm not afraid of... (krypton-life).

    just be happy... that person's leaving will relieve a lot of extra weight on your heart and don't worry... you didn't lost a big part of yourself... you'll find that part when you're ready... it's up to you.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Yes, but I have stories from both sides.

    How relationship changed me?

    Before and during first year of my relationship I was very active person. Always had some little projects I did, small hobbies and always learning new stuff, hanging out with my friends a lot and I was at a happy place. As relationship progressed I became more passive, gained few kilos, stopped going out with my friends because I had too little money since I spent everything on my ex (she never requested it, but she also doesn't understand how pricy is gas these days, and only on driving to pick her up and drive her back home I'd easely make more than 100km). I was unhappy with my life but didn't understand why.

    How breakup changed me?

    She broke up with me, and I was devastated. But all this extra time and money I had now I spent with my friends, building my home gym, started doing my little (sometimes weird) hobbies, etc. Because of that I was kind of happier. But, I loved my ex dearly, I've known her for 7 years and been with her for 2 and a half. You think you know the person, you believe the person and you let your guard down. Then the trojans jump out of the horse and you're gone. All my trust was shattered, how could I trust another one? How can I let my guard down? No matter what I do I will always question when will another girl dump me again, I will never be able to open myself up.

    I'm also scared that I'll never find person that understands me again, somebody that knows what I mean and knows how I feel, she was the one that knew me good...

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  • yeah after my second relationship in which a girl cheated on me i was really stung. i felt like i couldn't trust women. i went through a period where i didn't want a relationship because i was so jaded and certain that all women were going to cheat and lie about it

    however that really was me getting over things and within a year or two i was able to trust girls

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  • This one has, a lot

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  • I attempted suicide after my last breakup, because it emasculated me in a very personal way.

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  • No i dont think it did

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What Girls Said 13

  • My break up ruined me and it still does. We split 6 months ago but we're together for 4. Although I've changed as a person. I've dyed my hair , pierced and tattooed and I'm slightly gothic

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  • I have this fear that I can't explain about getting back out there so yes only I can get past it and I hope is soon

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  • when this one relationship (with the first guy i can say i ever loved/saw a future with) ended, i felt like a part of me had died. it was the first time i'd ever let my guard down for anyone, and the betrayal was monumental; afterward, i knew i could never trust anyone again.

    see, my parents split up when i was just a kid. and my approach to relationships was that i shouldn't invest anything in them because they'd just leave anyway.

    it took me around 10 years, and almost as many therapists... but i did relearn trust and how to let someone in without running away screaming.

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  • after my first real relationship ended, i cried everyday for a year and half my hair must have fallen out from the stress

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  • No. I went out stronger than before.

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  • yes of that i'm sure

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  • My divorce changed me.

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  • Nope

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  • Not a break up. But a relationship gone wrong. It was just horrible, made me a colder person.

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  • Yes. I literally lost everything. I had to rebuild my life and regain back what lost. I struggled through hardship to get through it, but although there's deep rooted pain inside me , I can honestly say the pain has defined me in a postive way. I no longr depend on anyone for my own happiness. I'm in a new relationship and he's wonderful , but if it all ended I know I'll have the strength to move on.

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  • No never. But I've only been in one relationship my adult life. I'm sure if that were to end, I would be devastated

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  • Yeah it's pretty much ruined me and I usually just sleep a lot. And keep to myself and my view on love is definitely a bitter one. 😔

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  • It's normal for u to feel a little pessimistic about love after one or more failed romance (s). Especially if it's fresh or happens often. But don't let those feelings tarry.
    I remember telling my BFF "I am done with dating. It's not for me. No matter what I do, it never works out." But she convince me to change my mentality. Do not wallow in it. Live & learn.❤️

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